{Day 5} Accept what you cannot change

How’s that for a loaded topic title?! I’ve always loved the Serenity prayer and found much wisdom to be gained from it’s words. I didn’t even know there was a second verse until today, but it too is very applicable.

 

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

 

So let’s talk about how this prayer can apply to our marriages. I’ll bet that if you took the time to think about it, you would find some things about your spouse that you wish you could change. Maybe you can come up with a whole list, maybe only one or two things. Regardless, I’m sure there are things that irk you, right?

And if we asked your spouse, I’m sure they could also come up with things about YOU they wished to change … I know, it’s hard to admit, but we ALL have faults!

There have been times in my marriage where I was the nagging, nit-picking wife. Silly things like the laundry on the floor NEXT to the laundry basket, or the toilet seat being left up would cause me to become a real nag to my husband. There have been other things in my marriage too – bigger issues that I would dwell on about how I wished my hubby was more like this or less like that.  Maybe I wished he was more romantic, more spiritual, more sensitive, etc. I think you get the point, that there will always be things you want to change about your spouse.

 

In those times when I would dwell on the negative things I found that I became more and more disenchanted with my marriage! When I’d get in one of those funks where I just wasn’t real happy with him, I would dwell and dwell and dwell on those negative thoughts until I had him worked up to be the worst husband in the whole wide world! Obviously it was so not true of him, but when I let my mind get worked up over negative thoughts I got a little carried away! Then some teensy, tiny little thing would happen and I would BLOW up! Poor guy, he didn’t even know it was coming.

How can you combat this desire to change your man? PRAY about it! Learn to accept him for WHO HE IS! I will never tell you people can’t change … I’m living proof that people can change and grow and learn new things all of their lives. I’ve grown so much in so many ways throughout the course of our marriage. But what I’m trying to point out is that it isn’t your job to change your man. He might never change, grow or learn to do things new ways {OK chances are he WILL change in SOME ways}, but even if he doesn’t, you married this guy, you love him, so stop trying to change the things you don’t like about him.

Today’s Challenge is:

Think about those things your hubby does that drive you nuts … now think about those things in the grand scheme of life … are those things REALLY worth fussing about? Are they really worth getting in fights with your hubby over? Sure putting the toilet seat down many times a day is annoying … but maybe for him, putting that toilet seat UP is equally annoying! ;)

If you truly want to find joy in your marriage, stop trying to change your husband. Instead focus on being the wife you need to be, the wife God has called you to be. A wife who loves and serves her husband with joy.

Please take some time to check out the other 31 dayers here.