{Day 31} You're Gonna Miss This

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND ... Happy Last Day of the 31 days series! I seriously wondered if I'd have enough to write about to fill 31 days but this has turned out to be a wonderful experience for me. Plus, I've rediscovered how much I love blogging! Thank you to so many of you who have read and commented and given great feedback this month. I truly appreciate you all.

I'm not sure if you remember on the very first day when I talked about the perspective of time. I know people always tell you, cherish these days, they go by too fast. But I never really realized how true it was until I had kids.

Through each phase that the girls have gone through I have thought 'gosh, I just can't wait till we're through THIS stage'. Whether it was the sleepless nights with a newborn or the frustrating days of potty training a 2 year old or the testy attitudes of the 3, 4, and 5 year old. Maybe it was the desperate need for independence at 6, 7 and 8. Either way - there have always, at every age, been times that were difficult and trying on us as parents. There were always times when we just wished the time away thinking we couldn't wait until they had passed that phase.

And all the time I knew it was going too fast. I knew that time was speeding up and not slowing down. But just this year it's hit me harder than ever before. Our oldest daughter just turned 10. The past year has been filled with an incredible amount of changes in her life. I don't want to embarrass her by explaining them all, but let's just say that girls begin to change a TON, a whole lot earlier than I ever expected. And a lot of it was emotional too, not just physical changes. She went from a naive, little, innocent girl this year into a young woman who knows a whole lot more about the world and crazy things I never thought we'd have to talk about at this age. When she turned 10 I did a little reflecting over the past 10 years. I simply cannot believe how FAST 10 years have gone. It scares me a little that in 10 more years she could very well be gone from our home. {I went to college at 17 and was married at 20!} I can't imagine the thought of not seeing her every day.

There are so many things that my girls already do independently. They don't need me to pick out their clothes or dress them anymore. They don't need me to fix their breakfast {or lunch many days} anymore. They don't need help getting into the car or getting buckled. They don't need help bathing or showering or washing their hair or brushing their teeth. They need me less and less every day it seems. And yet I KNOW that I know that I know ... that they still NEED me - emotionally they need me, they need me to listen, they need me to BE there, they need me to encourage and support them, they need me to show up for the special things in their lives, they need me to show that I care about what interests them, they need me to model Christ to them. They might not need my help with many things anymore, but they still need me each and every day.

My last and final challenge for you is just to slow down and enjoy every day, every moment, every phase of your journey. If you're a wife - slow down and make time for your spouse, look for the good in him every single day. If you're a Mom, cherish those precious gifts the Lord has entrusted to you. Spend time with them, laugh with them, show up for their events, be there to cheer them on in everything, help them, HUG and kiss them {no matter how old or 'cool' they are}, snuggle up and read with them, and most of all - don't rush through it all. Life is too short and too precious to rush your way through it and wish away the time. It's a lesson I'm learning daily and I pray that each of you will do the same.

You're Gonna Miss This by Trace Adkins

She was staring out the window
Of their SUV
Complaining, saying,
I cant wait to turn 18
She said, "I'll make my own money"
And I'll make my own rules"
Mama put the car in park
Out there in front of the school
And she kissed her head
And said 'I was just like you"

You're going to miss this
You're going to want this back
You're going to wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're going to miss this

Before she knows it
She's a brand new bride
In her one bedroom apartment
And her daddy stops by
He tells her "It's a nice place"
She says "It'll do for now"
Starts talking about babies
And buying a house
Daddy shakes his head
And says "Baby just slow down"

Cause
You're going to miss this
You're going to want this back
You're going to wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're going to miss this

Five years later
There's a plumber
Working on the water heater
Dogs barking, phones ringing
One kids crying, one kids screaming
She keeps apologizing
He says "They don't bother me.
I've got two babies of my own.
One's 36, one's 23.
It's hard to believe..."

But
You're going to miss this
You're going to want this back
You're going to wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're going to miss this
You're going to miss this
Yeah you're going to miss this


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=lBDN8yWyNYU

{Day 30} Taking Care of the Me in Mommy

I know I've talked a lot about books or blogs in the past month. In case you haven't noticed yet I REALLY love to read! I love to read books, blogs, magazines, anything! I just love to learn and grow from things I read. I constantly bookmark blogs with awesome content that I want to remember. I also mark up my books with lots of highlighting and underlining. I just feel like there is so much really great information out there that can help me grow as a Christian wife and mom and I just can't get enough of it!

So here I go recommending another great book. Taking Care of the Me in Mommy by Lisa Welchel is a WONDERFUL book! We did this book as part of our MOMS group 2 years ago and it was really, really good for me. After all, if you're anything like me, you tend to leave taking care of yourself as the last thing you do. Being a Mom means you tend to take care of everyone else's needs before your own. And that's OK, as long as you aren't neglecting yourself in the process.

Reading this book helped me learn a ton of little ways I could take care of my body, soul, and mind. Lisa Welchel is a fantastic author who is very genuine and real about her own life. You never feel like she's too good or all high and mighty because she's a celebrity. She's humble in sharing both her strengths and her failures which I just love. I feel like she would be one of my very best girlfriends if I knew her in person.

I will readily admit that I go through big phases of taking care of myself well and not doing so well. There are times I neglect to floss my teeth or wash my makeup off at night. There are times when I fail to eat healthfully or might not exercise for weeks. There are times when I fail to have my quiet time with the Lord for weeks on end. Or when I am not feeding my mind with beneficial stuff. I am a work in progress FOR SURE and I mess this up all the time.

But I'm trying. I know I've said it many times before but I feel like it bears repeating. I'm trying. It's hard. I fail. But I try. I grow ... I take a few steps back ... I grow again ... and on and on it goes. But as I've grown I have begun to realize that I am a MUCH better wife and mom when I AM taking care of myself.

Taking care of myself physically is probably the hardest thing for me. I have said before that I hate to exercise and I love to eat - it's NOT a good combination! hahaha But seriously, being a healthy mom is a challenge for me. I have to MAKE myself choose healthy foods and avoid unhealthy ones. I have to push myself to exercise even though there are a hundred other things I would much rather be doing. But when I do those things - I feel SO much better! I am happier, healthier and setting a great example to my girls. They need to see that it's important to take care of yourself for a long life filled with good health. One thing that helps me with this is to set small goals and take baby steps. By that I mean - don't all of the sudden say 'I will exercise 10 hours this week!' or 'I will eat all vegetables for the next week!' -- instead, make small changes and set small goals for yourself. Last year I decided I wanted to learn to run. So we chose a 5k that was about 3 months away and began running little by little for 2-3 days per week until finally I was able to run the whole thing! It was such a great feeling of accomplishment and I knew that I wanted to reach that goal, so I wouldn't let myself quit in my training.

Taking care of my soul/spirit is another thing with amazing benefits when I do it. There are many days I do not choose to read my Bible or have my quiet time. It's not something I'm proud of, but many times there are so many other things competing for my attention. However, when I'm doing well and having a consistent quiet time I feel closer to the Lord and am a much better wife and mom. I am the kind of person who likes to have some sort of devotional with questions or ideas to make me think. There are TONS of wonderful Bible studies / devotionals for women out there. I suggest getting one and your Bible and a blank notebook for praise and prayers and just make yourself sit for at least 5-10 min every day. Each day your time will probably grow and grow as you draw closer to the Lord.

Taking care of your mind means you have to do things to keep your mind working. If you stay at home with your kids and don't hold down a job outside the home you can often feel like your mind has turned to mush. {At least that's how I feel!} Many days I'm not even sure what day it is! How sad is that?! Challenging my mind is a good way to keep it from turning to mush. Homeschooling my kids has CERTAINLY helped a lot with this! I am learning and re-learning SO many things right alongside my girls most days! But even if you don't homeschool, there are lots of things you can do for your mind. Read the newspaper, do word puzzles or Sudoku, read GOOD books, stay aware of current events, etc. Good books are ones that will challenge you and help you to grow. There are also tons of wonderful pieces of literature out there. Don't waste your time on junk reading - use your time for filling your mind with good things that will help you grow and mature and learn. {This is nothing against good fiction, I DO read and love fiction - just be sure the things you read and the themes represented are quality and worth your time.}

Here is a list of simple things you can do to take care of yourself daily:

* get enough sleep at night
* eat a healthy breakfast to begin your day
* spend a few minutes in quiet time with the Lord each morning, even if you need to shoo your kids off for a few minutes until you're done
* drink lots of water
* plan healthy meals and be sure you stock your fridge and pantry so you're prepared to make them
* do something active
* have a little quiet reading time each afternoon - it's good for kids AND for us!
* wash your face, brush your hair and teeth, floss your teeth {seems simple but I know I've neglected these things at times!}
* get to sleep at a decent time every night

Today's Challenge: Start taking care of yourself! hahaha ... is that too simple? Well, I know how hard it is to take care of yourself and put your needs higher on the priority list so I think that's enough of a challenge for one day. =) OH, and if you get a chance, check out Lisa's book, Taking Care of the Me in Mommy - I promise you'll love it!

{Day 29} What If It All Ended Tomorrow?

I guess some may think this post is horribly morbid, but sometimes it's just the way I think. One of the things that makes me want to slow down and enjoy life and choose joy in all things, is knowing that it could all be taken from me tomorrow {or at any moment, really}.

We are not guaranteed a long, happy life here on earth. The Lord could return tomorrow {that would be the BEST case scenario!}, we could die in a car accident or receive a devastating diagnosis at any time. Or something could happen to our husband, or one of our children. I pray that it won't but I always know that our days are not promised to us - the only promise we have is in knowing we'll spend eternity in heaven if we know the Lord Jesus as our Savior.

I don't want to scare you with stories, but I'm sure you must know of some people who were taken from this earth too soon. I think of my Dad who died of leukemia, I think of my dear friend Jen, who lost her husband to pancreatic cancer earlier this year making her a widow at only 39 yrs old. I think of college friends who lost a sweet toddler daughter to cancer, or my twin cousins who never knew their Dad because he died of heart failure 3 weeks before they were born. These devastating events happen all the time all around us.

I just want to know one thing ... if you KNEW you only had a week to live, or even a month or a year - would you live any differently? Would you do things different at all or would life go on exactly the same? I'm confident that I would do things different. I KNOW I would cherish every moment, every day. I know I would take more time for the important stuff like relationships with people and less time to worry about the latest news on Facebook.

I remember when my Dad was diagnosed with Leukemia. I went to visit him in Florida at the height of his sickness and he just cried in desperation and regret. I remember him saying 'I wish I had gone to more of your school plays and sporting events and not worked so many long hours' I laughed and said, 'don't worry Dad, I wasn't in any school plays anyway!' But I knew what he meant. He was a great Dad, do not get me wrong on that. He was always a great Father and provider and example to me. But he did work a lot. There was no denying his drive and work ethic. I didn't grow up thinking 'I wish my Dad was around more', in fact the thought never crossed my mind when I was growing up. But obviously it was something that ate away at HIM and at the end of his life it was something he regretted.

We don't get any do-overs friends. You've only got one life. You have the choice to live it to the fullest NOW while you can ... or live with the regrets later, when it might be too late.

I often think of Amy, the mother of 3 young girls, diagnosed with breast cancer a year ago. Amy is fighting for her life and facing medical treatments and surgeries every month. I KNOW she wants to live a long life and see her daughters grow. I read her blog posts and can't help but say 'Lord I'm SO thankful for my health!!' I make myself remember her because who knows ... maybe some day it could be me facing cancer. Like I said above, we're given no guarantees here in this life.

I know a Mom who constantly complains about her children. It seems like nothing they do is good enough and she constantly acts as if they are a great burden on her. I know of another Mom who always pawns her children off on to others. She would rather have her alone time than drive her child to their practice or spend time with them. It saddens me to see these children growing up in homes where they aren't cherished.

Now hear me on this - I have said before and I will say again I am NOT a perfect person, parent, wife or Christian. I am a SINFUL, horrible person. I hope through this month you have seen that I FAIL, ALL.THE.TIME.

BUT --- I am trying very hard to become a Mom who sees every day as the precious gift that it is. Who sees my children as the very precious gifts that they are. Who sees my husband as the very precious gift that he is. Who sees my life as the very precious gift that it is.

Today's Challenge: Do you know another Mom who is in a more difficult situation than you are? Maybe she faces medical concerns, maybe she has a child who faces medical concerns, maybe she's struggling with depression, maybe she is going through tough financial times. Here are two things I'd like you to do {actually 3} -- First, begin to pray daily for this other Mom. Write her name somewhere you'll see it every day and commit to praying for her. Second, When you pray for her and think of all the difficulty she's going through - remember to thank the Lord that you are blessed and not struggling with these same afflictions. Allow the hardships of others to create a grateful heart in you as you see just how blessed you are. Third, Find something special you could do for this Mom. Maybe bake for her, run errands for her, watch her children, etc. Allow the Lord to use you to bless this Mom.

OKAY, I have a FOURTH thing - never take life for granted. Decide today to start living life joyfully every day. There are a few songs out there that encourage you to Live Like You We're Dying {Kris Allen} or Live Like You Were Dying {Tim McGraw} --- so let's start living that way.

{Day 28} Like My Mother Does

I seriously cannot believe we are almost to the end of October already! WOWEE! I never thought I'd have enough to say to fill a whole month of posts but now that we're almost done I'm finding daily that I have more and more things I'd like to share with you! hahaha Well the beauty of a blog is that I get to keep sharing whatever I want, whenever I want and am not limited to a month of posts to do it. =)

Today while riding home in the car from New Hampshire {where we had a FABULOUS little time away} I heard a great song called 'Like My Mother Does' by Lauren Alaina who was the runner up on American Idol this past year. {The lyrics and video are below}. And as I listened to the words I got to thinking ... SO much of who I am, how I look, how I act, the faith I have, the joy I choose, is a direct result of my amazing Mama. How could I have forgotten what a HUGE role she has played in my life?! I am SO sorry I have not shared about her up until now and hope that I will honor who she is with today's post.

My Mom grew up in New Jersey where she was the 3rd child in a family of 6 kids. There were 5 girls and only one son. She became a Christian as a teen and later met my Dad {Stan} while at Bible college. They married and after a year or so they moved to Canada where my Dad had grown up. There are just 2 kids in my family, myself and my brother Matt. My parents taught us early on to know and love the Lord and follow HIM all our days. We were always involved in things going on at church. My parents also helped start a new church with just a few other families {that has now grown by leaps and bounds!} My Mom and Dad were always serving. They would be the first to arrive at church to get things set up and ready and the last to leave since they would stay to clean up and close up the building. They weren't perfect Christians, or perfect parents - but they modeled Christ to us EVERY day.

When I think back on the last 20 years of my Mom's life it makes me sad. My Mom has lost almost every single important person in her life. Her only brother died of heart failure at just 26 yrs old while he was running in the Navy. Her sister, the one she was closer to than all the others, died of breast cancer in her early 50's. Her Mom died. Her in laws both died {she was closer to her mother in law than her own mother}. Her husband {my Dad} died of leukemia at only 54 years old. She's had best friends abandon her. And on and on and on. She has suffered some DEEP loss.

But even though it makes me sad to think about all the loss she has suffered, I take joy in seeing how she has handled it all. Her faith never waivers, her strength amazes me, and she sets an example of choosing gratitude no matter what your circumstances may be.

1 Thessalonians 5:18
" give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."

Last week there was a situation where some lies were told about my Mom, myself and my family. I was angry. I wanted to retaliate BIG time. When I talked with my Mom, can you guess what she said? She said we really needed to pray for the person spreading the lies. Because that person is someone who doesn't know the Lord and who lives in a constant state of bitterness and anger. So instead of retaliating, we should pray. How amazing is my Mom?! I mean, my sinful, ugly nature came out rearing it's head in that moment and I was ready to spew some pretty mean and nasty things at this person. But my Mom's FIRST response was to pray for her 'enemy'. Now I'm not saying this person is necessarily her enemy, but in this situation she sorta was because she made herself the enemy with her hurtful and untrue accusations. So yes, my Mom's CHOICE was one of having faith that God is the ultimate judge and choosing to pray for this other person.

I am constantly amazed by her. I know that her life has been filled with grief, and yet I've seen the Lord use her grief to help support and encourage others as they go through difficult times. As a widow, she can relate to and understand what other widows are going through. I used to wonder, why would the Lord allow my Dad to die so young, when he was in the prime of his life and serving the Lord wholeheartedly. But now I've seen that there really is a reason for everything the Lord does - because He's using my Mom for His glory in the lives of other people who are grieving and suffering.

What else can I say about my Mom? She is one of the strongest people I know. She's doesn't shy away from doing things because she's a single widow or because she's afraid she might not know how to do something. She just decides to put her mind to something and gives it her best shot. Since my Dad has been gone she has bought her own condo, learned how to kayak, torn up carpet and tiled a floor by herself, started new Bible studies at our church, gone to multiple retreats at Christian camps, changed jobs, moved across country, etc, etc, etc. The list could go on. The point being, she doesn't just sit and mope. She gets out there and does things. She's a mover and a shaker you could say! When there was a need for a women's Bible study for working women - she didn't complain about the fact that there wasn't one, she helped co-found a new one!

My parents hearts were always in camp work. For several years they worked at Christian camps in the summer, then when I was in high school they lived at and worked at a Christian camp full time for a few years. They always LOVED the way lives were changed through Christian summer camps. Now that my Dad is gone my Mom continues to serve at camps all year long. Many times she gives up her whole weekend to drive 2+ hours away to serve in the kitchen at a Christian camp for the weekend. She doesn't get paid. She pays for her own gas to get there and home. She gives of her own time. But she does it because of her love for the Lord and her love for camp work. The friendships she's made and the relationships with people make it all worthwhile for her.

Maybe you can see why I have such a great example of JOY in my Mom?! I am truly blessed to be her daughter and to have her in my life. How could I ever look at my life and be down in the dumps when I see how she choose joy in hers despite all the heartache she's known??

Today there is no challenge ... I simply want to say how eternally grateful I am to be Barb's daughter. I am blessed beyond any words I could ever say. She has given me life, and given me the Lord, and given me wings to let me fly and find my own life and dreams. I am SO thankful!!

Here are the words to the song {and the video is below}:
LIKE MY MOTHER DOES by Lauren Alaina

People always say I have a laugh
like my mother does
Guess that makes sense
She taught me how to smile when things get rough

I've got her spirit,
she's always got my back
When I look at her
I think I want to be just like that

When I love, I give it all I've got
Like my mother does
When I'm scared I bow my head and pray
Like my mother does
When I'm weak and unpretty
I know I'm beautiful and strong
Because I see myself
Like my mother does

I never met a stranger,
I can talk to anyone
Like my mother does
I let my temper fly
But she can walk away, when she's had enough

She sees everybody, for who they really are
I'm so thankful for her guidance
She's helped me get this far

When I love, I give it all I've got
Like my mother does
When I'm scared I bow my head and pray
Like my mother does
When I'm weak and unpretty
I know I'm beautiful and strong
Because I see myself
Like my mother does

She's a rock
She is grace
She's an angel
She's my heart and soul
She does it all

When I love, I give it all I've got
Like my mother does
When I'm scared I bow my head and pray
Like my mother does
When I'm weak and unpretty
I know I'm beautiful and strong
Because I see myself
Like my mother does

I hear people saying
I'm starting to look
Like my mother does

Like My Mother Does - Lauren Alaina - Lauren Alaina Videos

{Day 27} It's Your Choice

Choosing to be joyful is just that - a choice. No one can choose it for you or force it on you. It has to be in your hands. It's kind of like a child who won't eat the broccoli on her plate ... you can bribe, plead, cry and complain that you want that child to eat that broccoli - but in the end, you can't force her to do it, she has to choose it. You CAN seek help, from our heavenly Father or the support of family & friends. But ultimately each day we are faced with a choice - to choose joy or not to choose joy.

The hard thing is that our lives are full of things and situations that threaten to steal our joy. In fact, it can daily weigh us down simply by noticing the very sinful world around us. There have been times when listening to the news or reading the newspaper have gotten me so down in the dumps that I wonder why we're really here at all. So much pain, suffering and crime abounds in our culture. It's truly disheartening at times.

Another thing that daily threatens my joy is just general family life. The mundane tasks of cleaning and cleaning and re-cleaning. The daily reminders to my girls to 'be kind to one another'. The constant feeling of being overwhelmed with trying to balance it all. Being a Mom requires a lot of us and it can all be a bit too heavy at times - am I right? These are the things that *try really hard* to steal my joy each day. And let's be honest, sometimes they are successful and I allow myself to feel overwhelmed, exhausted, weary in doing those daily tasks over and over and over again - and NOT being joyful in the process!

One of the things I noticed in the things you ladies shared was that several people made the comment that it has to be a daily choice for you. I gotta tell ya girls, I am the SAME WAY. I can very easily be swayed to and fro by the way I feel each day. Whether I'm grumpy or tired or just feeling the strain of trying to get it all done, there are many days when my choice is not a joyful one. I allow my feelings or my circumstances to guide my attitude and it leads me down a path that is the opposite direction of joy.

Just today my husband and I were reflecting on a time a few years ago where we struggled with our oldest daughter. When she was around 4 or 5 she went through several months when she was just mad at the world a lot of the time. Oh sure, she put on a happy face at school, with friends, at church and with family. But at home she was miserable and mean and she always seemed mad. We worried over her and wondered what we were doing wrong and why she was acting this way. And EVERY single day I would say to her, "You need to choose a good attitude today."

Some days I have to give myself that little pep talk as well - Kathy, you need to CHOOSE a good attitude today! There are some days that if I didn't consciously CHOOSE it, I would easily stay in my cranky place all.day.long. And really, who wants to live with a wife or mother who lives there??!!

Today's Challenge: Is joy your daily choice or do you allow what happens in your day to govern how you feel and act? If joy is not your first response, or if you struggle to choose it on most days, think of some ways that you can remind yourself. Post verses around your home or work. Find sayings and quotes about joy and hang them in your home. Remind yourself daily just how much you have to be grateful for. And never forget that by choosing joy yourself you are setting the very best example for your kids.

{Day 26} Your thoughts on JOY

Blogging has been a wonderful tool for me. {I think I already mentioned this a few days ago!} It's been great to connect with so many like-minded women through the blog world. A few days ago when I posted the giveaway I asked each of you to write what brings you joy. I was thrilled with the responses from all of you - whether you are wives and mothers or even if you aren't, many women responded with great things about living a JOY filled life.

So today I wanted to share what all of you wrote. I think your responses are so wonderful and worth sharing. Many of you shared things that I hadn't even thought of! So THANK YOU for being willing to share on here and please enjoy these great responses from some fantastic friends.

Sarah said: Something that helps me choose joy is MUSIC!! I loooove making music, and starting the day playing guitar songs at the table while the kids are having breakfast totally gets me going for the day! Or ending the day with some time at the piano and the kids dance around me is just the best to me. And of course I always have the radio playing to KLOVE in the car.

Christina Said: Choosing to be joyful is a challenge for me and so I have learned from your posts. One thing I have found that helps me to be joyful as a wife and mother is to meditate on where my life would be and what I would be doing if I were single or childless. Although there are days when I picture myself at Starbucks in a trendy outfit ;) most days I realize that I would be instead pining for the life that I actually have now. That girl would kick me repeatedly for not enjoying this life that I have. So I choose to be joyful in it!


Laura said: Choosing to be joyful is not always easy. I have struggled with not being joyful in the life God has given me because I never wanted to be a mom. I am not living my dream life. Every morning I have to choose to be joyful because I KNOW I am blessed beyond words and God will give me the joy, the strength, and the desire to do what I need to do everyday. James 1:2 has been a staple in my daily walk "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when facing various trials." No matter what I'm facing on a day-to-day basis (and even in those unexpected events), I have joy because I have the Lord.

Amy said: I find myself so much more joyful as a mom when i remember how quickly the days are passing. I want to cherish every minute!

Hope said: For me, choosing joy has more to do with my time in the Lord's presence and in His Word than anything else. It also has to do with surrendering my natural tendencies to Him and choosing obedience. The more I am enjoying my precious Savior, feeding on His Word, and then walking in fellowship with Him, the more the joy comes. Keeping that time a priority has always been a struggle for me. There are always a million tasks that call for my attention. I also hate getting up early. I have lots of excuses/reasons to stay in bed and catch those extra zzz's, but what a difference being with the Lord makes.

Jessica said: I choose joy when I stop and consciously give thanks for the blessings I have been given. Reading your blog and about your 1000 gifts project has taught me a lot about that, as well as Proverbs 30:8-9. I tend to get bummed about about money a lot (that's my biggest source of discontentment right now) and I keep that verse in mind often. God has faithfully and consistently provided just enough for us to live "in the middle," and I try to see it as a blessing rather than the curse that my brain can twist it around to feel like.

Darcie said: I choose joy daily...every morning I get up and choose joy in my life. I am grateful for my life, my family and my God. I receive innumerable amounts of joy from His word--studying and delving deeper into it as often as I can. I also thoroughly enjoy the fellowship of others...even if it is only through the reading of blogs and posting.


Mary said: Well I might be the morbid one in the group but I choose to be joyful because all that I have could be gone in a blink. A car accident. A disease or illness. A fire.... all gone and changed in an instant. So when I remember how temporary all this is... ya that perspective keeps the joy a flowin.

Amy D said: Choosing Joy in parenting for me started with my eyes being opened to how precious just being able to have one child was. When I had my first miscarriage about 15 months after having my daughter Emily that sent our hopes & dreams to a screeching halt. Then shortly afterwards to loose twins at our 11 week appt. just rocked our world. We went back and forth to Yale for a few months undergoing testing being followed by the specialists, unsure if we would ever be able to bring another child into the world. It was a scary time and a day felt like a lifetime. The Lord really worked in my heart during that time & it gave me such a new appreciation for my child. Of course we were able to conceive again and in December of '07 we welcome Sarah JOY into our lives. The name largely chosen for just this reason, to remember that this life is a Joy and to never take a day for granted.

Stacy said: JOY...Well, I have certainly learned it is a CHOICE! It's easier to not be joyful some days. My joy ultimately comes from the Lord, and He gives it to me in so many ways. My favorite way He gives it to me is through the laughter of my children.

Elisa said: I loved reading what all of these women are saying. It's funny how we can be in different seasons and forget the benefits of it. Like Christina wonders what...."I would be doing if I were single or childless." and realizes that that girl would kick her!!! LOL!!
I laugh bc that is me! I sit in Starbucks and stare at all the moms, wishing it were me!
I also identified with Amy so much. When my husband and I decided to start trying to make a family we got pregnant right away only to lose the baby at 9 weeks. We were devastated and for the past 15 months have been waiting for God to bless us with another pregnancy/baby. Between doctor visits and fertility treatments there are days when I struggle to find my joy. When one day feels like an eternity, it's a battle.
I find my joy through worship. Quite honestly, it's the last thing I feel like doing in my lowest times... but I know as I begin to worship the Lord for His greatness, His love, His faithfulness... basically getting my eyes off of ME .... JOY comes and it IS my strength!!!

Michelle said: what gives me Joy as a mom? Being a stay-at-home mother and teaching my children manners and how to cook...then watching them do things on their own that I taught them! Amazing! I was a child that was in day care everyday while my mom worked so for me to be able to stay home with my children is a JOY!

Maria said: I find joy in the every day things. As you know I am a nanny. I found joy this morning as I was laying on the floor in the kitchen (don't ask) and having a 5 year sitting on the counter laughing. Waking them up in the morning knowing that our favorite thing to do is to be tickled awake. The joy of a beautiful fall day and thankful I am alive to see it. Holding hands with someone and feeling peace finally, even if it is short time knowing that you will be thankful for that little time with them. I have found joy in realizing that even though the last few months have been a struggle that I am doing the will of my Father in heaven and that He has placed me here for a reason. I have this quote on my facebook wall by C.S. Lewis "Joy is the serious business of heaven" Doesn't that just sum it all up?

Lora said: Making a conscious decision to choose to be joyful has to be daily for me. I can get so bogged down with the daily grind that I forget about all of the blessings, big ones and little ones. I find that when I focus on myself: my tiredness, my frustrations, my long list of to-do's, that I lose joy almost entirely. However, when I focus on serving my family the joy returns!



THANK YOU again ladies for sharing from your hearts! I think some things you mentioned would be worth touching on in the coming days. Have a wonderful day friends! I won't post a 'today's challenge' for today - but maybe reflecting on these women's thoughts will challenge you to CHOOSE JOY today?!

{Day 25} Laughter

{Again with no picture, what's going on with blogger lately?!} =)

Proverbs 15:13
A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.

Proverbs 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.



You’ve heard it said that laughter is good medicine and it’s really true. Laughter can be as cleansing as tears at times.

You know those times when you’re not sure whether you want to laugh or cry … when you’re totally overwhelmed as a Mom and nothing is going your way and you just feel like you’re at the end of your rope? LAUGH. I promise it will feel good, ease the tension and be cleansing.

There were times when I would have screamed. When someone spilled the milk or something silly like that and I would have reacted by yelling. Crazy, isn’t it? I mean who would tell at a child over spilled milk? But I have learned that it’s so much better for everyone involved to just shake it off and laugh. Children can be SO sensitive to what we think of them and how we react to them. When we respond in anger or frustration they take it to heart and worry that we don’t love them enough or they aren’t good enough. When we respond positively they see that we love them MORE than the glass that was broken.

Laughing with your family is simple, cheap fun. It won’t cost anything to start a tickle fight, tell silly jokes, have a contest for who can make the silliest face. We also love watching America’s Funniest Videos together – that show is SURE to bring about laughter!

Today’s Challenge: Laugh with your family today. Our world is so serious with so many demands placed on us and on our kids. Kids are expected to sit still in school, pay attention, behave, etc. So when they come home give them a little slack, allow them to cut loose a little and just laugh. Watch a silly movie together, run outside and jump in leaf piles together, tell everyone to come to dinner with a silly outfit on – the possibilities are endless. Just smile and laugh today. Don't ya think our world would be a much brighter place if more people just SMILED more? I do! =)

{Day 24} Rest

**We are away on a little vacation for a few days so I'm going to keep my posts a bit shorter for the next couple of days. I want to fully enjoy being here with my family and not be consumed with blogging - hopefully you'll all understand! And for some reason blogger is not cooperating with me in uploading my '31 days' picture so I'm sorry it's not here! **


One of the most important things that helps me become a joyful wife and mom is time to rest. Being a Mom is a FULL time job, can I get an Amen? Often times it's also a TOUGH job. It requires LONG hours and NO pay {monetarily speaking at least}.

The rewards of course are far more important than anything money could buy. Things like sweet hugs and kisses from your little ones, those sweet 'I love you Mama' sentiments, being there to see all their firsts or kiss their boo-boos. It's an amazing privilege to be a Mom, but also one of the toughest jobs I've ever held.

Which brings me to the need for rest. Every person who holds any kind of job gets at least SOME time off. And Moms should be no different. Now our time off might be a little shorter or different than most jobs, but having a break every once in a while is a good thing.

Rest can come in many different ways - here are some things that I've enjoyed and found especially restful and refreshing:

* a weekend away either at a Women's retreat, Women of Faith event or a scrapbook weekend with friends. It is SO good to be with your girlfriends, to laugh, cry, talk and share. It is wonderful to be around other women who share in the same struggles you do. To encourage one another and just have FUN!

* a Sunday afternoon nap. Sounds so simple, right? But as long as Dad can watch the kiddos for a little while I say go for it! You'll feel like a new woman!

* coffee night with girlfriends while the kids are at Awana - being a homeschool Mom means my kids are with me almost 24/7 - so Awana night is a great chance when they are at church having fun and my girlfriends and I enjoy coffee or dinner out.

* a quiet evening at home to watch a chick flick and soak my feet. Some evenings my hubby works later, or sometimes he might even be away for the weekend. So once the girls are in bed I soak my feet in my foot bath and watch a movie that I KNOW my hubby wouldn't enjoy. Then I give myself a pedicure and manicure.

* a walk by myself - a couple weeks ago I went for a walk in the cemetery where my Dad is buried. I hadn't been there for a long time even though it's very close to my house. It was a beautiful fall day and I just walked and enjoyed the fresh air and time alone with my thoughts. And I went and saw his grave for the first time in a long time - and yes it brought tears and grief - but in a weird way it was very a very restful and refreshing time for my soul.

* a quiet afternoon to read. Kids are playing happily? Let yourself get lost in a book for a little while! Better yet - have everyone take a 'quiet hour' in the afternoon where everyone has to be on his or her own bed reading books for one hour - and instead of using that time to clean your house, make yourself go lay down with a book too!

I'm sure we could easily list a hundred other ways to find rest. The thing is to make time for it. Rest can mean so many different things to different people. Figure out what works for you. Enlist help - ask hubby to watch the kids for a short time so you can go to a bookstore and browse while you enjoy a coffee. Ask the grandparents to take the kids for a couple of hours. Share childcare with a friend. Just make sure you are finding ways to get a bit of rest and relaxation time away from your kids.

Today's Challenge:
When was the last time you had some time of rest? If your child is 12 and you tell me 12 years ago I WILL yell at you! LOL, just kidding! But if that's the truth, I think you're far overdue! Try to figure out a time when you can get a little rest time. It could be something really simple. Maybe your idea of rest is completely different than all my ideas - and that is FINE! Maybe rest for you is making sure that you get your kids in bed early so you have a couple hours to yourself in the evening and then get to bed early enough every night in order to get a good night's sleep - that's OK too, that kind of rest is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL! I promise you will be a joyful Mama when you have a little rest, a little break from your kids every once in a while. So get your calendar out and SCHEDULE it, the same way you've been learning to schedule those dates with your hubby {you have been doing that right?!}

{Day 23} Gratitude

This year I bought the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. It’s literally been changing my life. Ann’s concept was to write a list of 1,000 Gifts, little every day things that she was thankful for. They could be as simple as a pile of laundry {because it meant they had more than enough clothes to wear} or as beautiful as a sunset to end the day. Either way, she jotted down things to be thankful for in a notebook every day. And choosing to look for the beauty in everything changed her.

I have jumped into this project as well. I have a list going which is somewhere in the hundreds now. There are times when I stop making the list and get busy and it falls away. Other times I’m very good about writing at least a few things every day.

I have noticed that the times when I’m paying the most attention to my blessings are the times when my life feels the most joyful. There still might be tough things going on, but choosing to see the beauty of life or the Lord’s blessings over us even in the tough times surely helps turn my heart toward joy and not complaining.

The other day I sat on the couch in the morning having my quiet time while the sun was just beginning to pour into the room. I looked out the window and saw this fat grey squirrel running across the power wires 30 feet above the ground. Just like a high wire act, this squirrel raced along that narrow wire. And I just smiled. How funny and cute and yes, even the laughter it brought to me was a GIFT.

In the moments like these when I find myself thinking ‘is it silly to be thankful for a fat grey squirrel on a high wire?’ but I know that it’s NOT silly – this choosing to see the beauty all around me. To slow down enough to notice those things, no matter how small or silly or inconsequential.

Having an attitude of gratitude is one of the surest ways to be a joyful wife and mother. Simple thanking God EVERY day that you get to BE a wife and mother. There are countless women in the world who wish they were married or wish to have a baby but might not be able to for whatever reason. So if you have both of those things – please, please don’t take those blessings for granted. Thank the Lord daily that you are so blessed!

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today.  Have you used one to say "thank you?"  ~William A. Ward

 

Today’s Challenge:

If you have the time, stop over and read Ann’s blog, A Holy Experience. She’s a wonderfully gifted writer. Her posts about weekends are some of my favorites, with little ideas of things you can do with your family given each weekend. And if you can, pick up a copy of her book, One Thousand Gifts.

Perhaps you could start your own thankful list? Just grab a notebook or sheet of paper and begin by writing 2-3 things each day. Once you get started you won’t be able to stop! Next month Thanksgiving is coming up, there is no greater time to commit to being thankful. Another simple idea is to make a thankful tree or thankful jar that your whole family can add to as we lead up to the holidays. It’s a great example to our kids when we choose to be thankful for everything we’re blessed with.

{Day 22} The Real You

Sometimes when you’re a Mom you feel like you have to look like you have it all together. Especially in front of your kids. You might think that by letting your kids see your faults and failings that you’re allowing your authority to be questioned.

But nothing could be further from the truth. In fact it’s very healthy and good for your kids to see that you mess up, you fail, you’re a sinner, and you have faults.

I used to hide behind my mistakes. I would mess up royally with my kids and they would see the most sinful side of me – but then instead of admitting I was wrong and asking forgiveness I would brush it off and ‘justify’ it because I was the Mom.

I wrote a post that relates a lot to this topic a little over 3 years ago. It’s a bit wordy, but I think it’s worth sharing again on here today.

 

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Living Life ... Under the Microscope

Recently my oldest daughter has been full of questions. It seems like she's trying to figure out how the world around her works. And more specifically how her Mommy works. These are just a few of the questions she's been asking me lately ...
Mom, what makes you laugh? {{OH NO, does this mean I don't laugh enough??}}
Mom, do you like to wash dishes? {{Not really, but someone has to do it!}}
Mom, is driving a car fun? {{Maybe, but you still can't drive till you're 16!}}
Mom, why do you like to cook things? {{Because it's fun to make new things and provide for my family.}}

And on a deeper level ... I have just recently been much better about having a regular 'quiet time' with prayer and reading my Bible each morning. Prior to that I would always wake up and immediately jump right on the computer in the morning. I felt like I was really wasting so much time on the computer and felt such guilt over never making the time for the Lord.

So I have tried very hard to focus on my quiet time first, before I am allowed to 'log on'. It's been a wonderfully, rewarding time for me that I have really come to enjoy. I take my notebook, Bible and prayer journal outside each morning with my coffee and sit and enjoy the wonder of creation in the early morning hours (well, not REALLY early, but at the start of my day.) The girls have often wandered outside to find me in prayer or reading my Bible. I stop and chat with them a bit, or they snuggle up to me on the swing, then I continue on reading or praying until I'm done.

So now the questions have become ...
Mom, are you going to be outside have devotions every morning now instead of being on the computer when we wake up? {{WOW, talk about convicting!!}}
Mom, do you like to read your Bible?
Mom, why do you come outside and pray every morning?
OR, one day recently that I SKIPPED my devotional time and the youngest found me on the computer in the morning ...
Mom, did you read your Bible yet today? {{YIKES, they really DO pay attention don't they?!}}

At times over the last few weeks I have felt like my life is being lived under the microscope. I know that from birth the girls have been observing me and the world around them. But these questions have really challenged me to think hard about what I do and say every day ... and how my actions and words affect the little ones who are watching me.

Having a regular devotional quiet time has never been a priority to me ... I always wanted it to be a priority, but never made it happen. Which is my own fault and something I feel awful about. I am so thankful that God doesn't give up on me though. He is faithful when I am not. I'm thankful that He is using the innocent questions of my little girls to help me to be disciplined. Through their questions and watchful eyes I'm learning just how very important it is that I focus my life on God and living His ways.

I want to let you know that I'm not writing this to 'toot my own horn'. As I mentioned I have just recently begun making this a priority. I know it's hard as a Mom to make time to sit quietly and pray and read the Bible. There were many times when my 'quiet time' was simply reading "Our daily bread" while I sat on the toilet for 5 minutes. And even then, I'd hear the kids start screaming or crying or pounding on the door for my attention!!

Now that the girls have seen me in my effort to make this my priority they have really been wonderful at respecting my time. I usually wake up before them, and brew my coffee and head outdoors with my Bible. And if the girls wake up, which usually at least one of them does ... they wander out and say good morning and most of the time they will go back inside and get some cereal, or watch cartoons, or read a book or play. On rare occasions I'll have to say ... just give me a few more minutes to finish my quiet time. And they are great at respecting that.

I know my kids are a little older than those Moms who might have babies and toddlers. But even at the younger ages I think our kids have the ability to see when something is important to us and respect it. Or even to sit quietly in your lap while you pray. What a great example we are setting for our children when we do this! It's helped me teach the girls that it really is important to "read your Bible, pray everyday" like the old Sunday school song says!

I'll leave you with this poem that I recently received through email. It's all about how children observe things from us when we think they aren't looking. Whether we like it or not, as parents we are living our lives under the microscope ... what will it reveal about you to your children?

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you
handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you
cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of  life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This post and specifically the poem remind me of how important it is to be ‘the real me’ in front of my kids. Not only the real me, but to be honest and truthful about my mistakes and failings. In fact, when I’m honest to my kids and tell them I’m sorry and ask their forgiveness they are always SUPER quick to forgive me. I’m not sure about you, but when someone wrongs me, it often takes me awhile before I can forgive and move on. That’s why I’m always so surprised when the girls forgive me so quickly and embrace me with hugs and kisses and ‘we forgive yous’. Kids are a blessing in that way, they love us so deeply even after we’ve failed them.

Today’s Challenge is:

Are you allowing your kids to see the real you? What kinds of things are you hiding from them? Are you willing to be real in front of them, admitting your mistakes and asking forgiveness when you need to? Also, what are they seeing in you? Are you displaying the fruits of the spirit or acting more like a ‘desperate housewife’? We want our kids to see the real us, but we also want that person to reflect our relationship with Christ.

{Day 21} Family Time

One of the best ways I know of to become a joyful wife and mother is to spend precious time with your family. Understand the value of giving of yourself for them.

There are numerous studies out there that emphasize the value of having dinner together at the table every night. In a TIME magazine article they say that ‘Kids who dine with the folks are healthier, happier and better students.’ Kids who have family dinner together feel accepted and loved by their parents. They know that home is a place where they can feel accepted and be heard.

But having dinner together is just the beginning of things you can do together as a family. When the girls were really little and my husband worked at night, we would often go out to run errands during the day. It was a simple way to get us all out of the house and still accomplish all we needed to do. Doing things together was easier too – there was always an extra pair of hands if you needed help while in a store. And if the girls got maxed out with running errands then one of us could stay in the car with them while the other adult went into the various stores or stops. It seems like a funny ‘family’ thing to do – but we were all together, accomplishing things that needed to be done, working as a team – and that’s what family is all about!

Here are a few other ideas of things you can do together:

* play sports {even in your backyard is fine!}

* volunteer together

* do something outdoorsy like a hike or bike ride

* take up a family hobby like letterboxing or geocaching

* go to the playground or park

* play board games – make family game night a weekly thing

* plan meals, shop for food and then cook together

* do yardwork together – start a garden that you all work on, help rake leaves all together, have everyone help shovel and clear snow after a storm

* create traditions together – special places you go year after year like a favorite Cider Mill every fall or an Annual St. Patrick’s Day Parade every spring, or traditions that are centered around certain holidays like cutting down a Christmas tree every year.

* make birthdays a big deal, no matter if it’s for a child or adult – have certain traditions and things you do every time someone has a birthday, have everyone in the family make cards for the birthday person

* have family movie nights, make homemade pizzas and popcorn and smuggle up together – make ice cream sundaes for dessert

* READ together – which is always best done when all snuggled up together with blankets and pillows =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there.’  ~Barbara Bush

Some times giving of yourself for your family means you’ll have to give up some things that you really want to do. It also might mean saying no to some things. Our girls are at the age where they are involved with many activities like sports and piano and church activities, but if we aren’t careful we would be out of the house literally every night of the week and weekends too! We have to make sure we have a balance of activities/sports and days where we’re simply at home as a family.

There are also things I’ve had to give up or say no to. At times I’ve been invited to concerts, parties or nights out that I simply knew I needed to say no to because it was the best thing for my family to have me home that night instead. It’s OK for Moms to get out and do things without their family, but we need to be sure that it’s not every weekend or every night or that it’s taking us away from our kids during those times when they’re home from school {too often}.

If we’re attentive to the Lord’s leading, He will help show us when we need to say no to things. Two years ago my oldest daughter got very sick the week before I was supposed to go away for the weekend for a ladies retreat. I has taken her to the doctor on the Friday and he assured me it was simply viral and she’d be fine in a few days with some rest. But my heart just didn’t feel right about leaving her – even though I knew she’d have excellent care with my husband and mom while I was gone. I ended up staying home from the retreat, though I admit I was somewhat bitter and sorely disappointed about it. Over the weekend she continued to decline and on Saturday night she slept with me and I couldn’t sleep all night as I watched her struggling to breathe and fighting a high fever which at that point she’d been fighting for 6 days. On Sunday afternoon I took her to the walk in clinic – my instincts were just telling me something wasn’t right. When they checked her in they were very concerned and rushed us right into a room. They did a chest x-ray and determined she had pneumonia and was a very sick little girl. Now I’m not saying that my Mom or Husband wouldn’t have taken good care of her, or that they couldn’t have taken her to the doctor – but I feel like the Lord just knows when a child needs their Mom and gives us all instincts to know when something is more serious than we think. I thank the Lord that I stayed home that weekend!! 

Today’s Challenge is:

In what ways do you need to be more intentional about family time? Could you set aside some time this weekend for a family night? Whenever you do have family time or family dinners – make sure you do it wholeheartedly, disconnecting from all electronics and being fully there. You can find JOY in your family, by spending time created bonds and lasting memories together.

Perhaps some family dinner conversation starters would help? There are loads of great ideas out there for fun and conversation around the table – just Google it and you’ll come up with lots of ideas.

And just a reminder – today is FRIDAY and you only have until MIDNIGHT EST to enter my giveaway! Please click here to enter!

{Day 20} Fear & Worry

I always get chills when God speaks to me about certain things. I know what you’re thinking, ‘wow, she really hears the Lord’s voice?!?’ Nope. I don’t. Or I never have {that I know of}. But I hear him speak to me through other people, verses, things I read, etc. It always happens like this … one day I’ll read a verse, then totally randomly {or not!}, I will be sitting in church and hear the EXACT same verse, then I will pick up a book I haven’t read for MONTHS, a book I really enjoy, but got busy and set it aside and haven’t picked it up at all – so I pick it up and start reading somewhere in the middle where I left off and right there, it’s the SAME verse again!

Do these kinds of things happen to you? I know it’s not by chance! I know that these are things the Lord really wants me to hear, so He places in my path over and over and over again until I finally get the message that this is something really important that He really needs me to pay attention to! {Some times I can be so dense or hard headed!}

So lately the word that keeps coming at me is FEAR. Last spring we did a Bible study on the book Fearless by Max Lucado, this fall I read about a new book out by Angie Smith called ‘What Women Fear’, today I read this fantastic post by Kelly at Kelly’s Korner … THEN, get this, I literally click from Kelly’s post over to Lora’s post and KAPOW, there it is again – the subject of fear/worry! Oh and just in case, I didn’t quite get the message yet – ANOTHER post about fear today from Ann at A Holy Experience! Crazy, right?! {There have been other little things like devotions I have read, blog posts, verses that friends have shared on FB, etc. All pointing towards the issue of FEAR and trusting God. I just love it when He does that!

I gotta tell ya, fear is one topic that I DO NOT have figured out. In fact, the older I get, the more I feel mild anxiety, worry or fear over many silly things.

What kinds of things do I fear? Someone breaking into my house, something bad happening to my husband or daughters, someone close to me {or myself} getting cancer, getting in a major car accident … and the list goes on and on and on.

Fear seems natural when you’re a Mom. After all, you’re responsible for the well being of these little children and there is a crazy world out there that you feel you have to protect them from – why wouldn’t you feel somewhat fearful or worried about that?!

But how can I choose to live a JOYFUL life, when I’m constantly plagued by fear or worry? The thing is, I can’t. Fear and worry can consume me, they can take over my life … IF I let them. If I allow my thoughts and fears to get carried away and don’t do anything to stop them, they will take me down. And my joy, goes right down the tubes as well.

So what are my two biggest allies in fighting fear and worry?

1. Prayer

2. God’s Word

Prayer:  NOTHING brings me more peace, when I’m feeling worried, stressed or fearful, than when I stop whatever I’m doing and PRAY! Just committing the issue to the Lord and leaving it in HIS hands, helps calm my heart and fill it with peace that only comes from knowing that God is in control.

God’s Word:  The other thing that always helps me is reading and meditating on God’s Word. The Bible is FILLED with verses about fear and worry.

One day I was struggling with fear and worry so bad that I decided to look up as many passages I could about the topic and write them all out. I came up with a TON and I’m sure there were still many more in the Bible that I didn’t get to.

Here are just a few I want to share with you today, perhaps you could write a couple out and put them in a special place to remind yourself of God’s promises when you’re tempted to fear?

“Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared.” Proverbs 3:25-26

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail, they are new every morning, great is Your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

“You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You.” Isaiah 26:3

“I called Your name, O Lord, from the depths of my pit. You heard my plea; do not close Your ears to my cry of relief. You came near when I called for You and You said, DO NOT FEAR.” Lamentations 3:55-57

Today, on our way home from Awana at church, our car suddenly started making this really weird sound. It was only the girls and I in the car and without my husband there I immediately began to be filled with fear. What if it was something seriously wrong with the car? What if the car was going to blow up? What if we couldn't make it home? Why aren’t there any car shop places open at 8:30pm so I could just stop and ask someone else to listen to the weird sound? I didn’t want to create a sense of panic with the girls, but I couldn’t stop that dreadful feeling of fear. Should we drive the car home or just park it at church and call my hubby to come get us. It wasn’t exactly nearby and would be a huge inconvenience to him if it turned out to be something silly. As we pulled out of the parking lot I said to the girls, ‘let’s pray’. I knew in my heart that I would not be able to drive that car home if I did not let go of my fear. We prayed. We asked the Lord to get us home safely and keep our car from bursting into flames or any other crazy thing. And suddenly that peace was there. It filled my heart and allowed me to drive calmly home and not worry. {Yes the sound continued for the whole drive. My hubby thinks it’s something related to the heating/cooling system.}

Today’s Challenge:

In what situations are you holding on to fear or worry? What things do you need to give over to the Lord? How are these things keeping you from enjoying a FULL, joy-filled life? Pray about them! Commit your fears and worries to the Lord. Write them out, bring them before the Lord and lay them down at His feet. Write out some verses that fill your heart with His peace and post them around your home to remind you to choose peace over fear and worry.

If you haven’t entered my giveaway, please click here. You have until Friday at midnight to enter!

If you want to read some other fantastic bloggers as they share 31 days to … posts, please click here.

{Day 19} Letting Go of Expectations

Today I want to focus on letting go of our expectations, especially when it relates to raising our kids. To clarify, I guess I should say letting go of our HIGH expectations or unrealistic expectations, or simply learning to go with the flow.

This is something that does NOT come easy for me. In fact, I still struggle with it even now that the girls are getting older. I am a perfectionist in many ways and I am also very controlling and want things to go my way.

When it comes to raising kids, this has caused me bunches and bunches of angst. When I think about how many times I planned an outing for the day, had the girls’ clothes all lined up, has everything all arranged the way I wanted it to go – then one of the kids would mess it up by throwing a tantrum or not cooperating or being tired and grumpy – it makes me sad that I was so focused on my own agenda instead of the needs of my kids.

I mean, would it really have killed me to change my plans for the day and stayed home so my kids could have a little more rest time like they probably needed at the time? NO! But I was always focused on MY expectations and what I wanted to do or how I wanted them to act.

What I wished I knew then was to just let it go. To choose to go with the flow and focus on my kids needs and stop worrying about my own silly plans. Another example of this is the whole picture taking thing. There were times I took the girls to have portraits taken and for whatever reason they didn’t cooperate the way I wanted them to. I remember being so mad and frustrated about the fact that we weren’t able to get those ‘perfect’ pictures that I wanted to get.

Now please let me clear one thing up – I am NOT suggesting that you let things go when it comes to discipline or danger. I would never ‘let something go’ if it meant that my child was disobeying or being disrespectful or especially if they were putting themself in harms way. Those things MUST be dealt with immediately and not let go.

But for me, it was always those silly little things that I got caught up on and would stress over. Right now my 10 year old has this funky, weird sense of fashion. Sometimes I’m sort of embarrassed to head out of the house with her! {I know that’s a horrible thing to admit as a Mom!}. But then I think about what is REALLY important. First, it’s important that she be modest – which she is. Second, it’s important that she have confidence in who SHE is and feel comfortable and accepted in HER sense of style {not mine!}. So I am learning to LET IT GO! When she’s an adult, I hope that she will have good, Godly character and those are the things I want to focus on – not what her hair or clothes look like.

{just for fun, so you get the idea - this is a typical day with the crazy colors and patterns and mismatched socks!} {can we say 80’s people??!!}

 

So today’s challenge is:

What things are you getting hung up on? What do you need to let go of? Do you think you could find more joy in your parenting if you were willing to let go of some of your super high expectations? Would you be willing to put your child’s needs and best interest ahead of your plans for the day? Take some time to think about these things and pray through them if you have some issues you need to resolve.

PS. Have you checked out the other 31 dayers yet?? You should! Click here!

P.P.S. Don’t forget about my giveaway!! Click here to enter, you only have until Friday at midnight!

{Day 18} A Surprise for You!

Hello friends! Today I have a special surprise for you! This post is my 800th post since I began this blog waaaay back in 2007. Hard to believe I’ve had enough things to say to fill 800 posts already!

So today, just for you, I have a GIVEAWAY! Woot woot! Who doesn’t love a giveaway? I’ll be giving away one of my handmade fabric covered notebooks {pictured below}. I mean, no strings attached here either. I’m not going to require that you follow me, friend me or tweet me or anything crazy like that. It’s just a pure and simple FREE giveaway. OK, so you DO have to do ONE thing – leave a comment on this post sharing one thing that has helped you be a JOYful wife or mother. And if you’re not a wife or mother, don’t worry – you can still share! Just say something that helps you choose joy in your life.

I’ll be honest, I’m asking you to share because I’d LOVE to hear from YOU! I haven’t seen too much in the way of comments on here {which is fine, I read a lot of blogs and don’t comment much either} but I’m sure you ALL have wonderful things to share about being JOYFUL, right?!

So I want to hear from you …. and maybe, just maybe, I’ll do a post featuring some of your comments and ideas!

Please feel free to let others know about this giveaway too. I welcome anyone to enter.

Hmmmm, you know what … now that I’m sitting here thinking about this – I’ve decided that I will give away ONE notebook for every 20 people that comment. So if more people comment, more notebooks will be given away! 25 people = 1 notebook  44 = TWO! You get the idea!

These notebooks are great for journaling, gift-giving, keeping a list of things you’re thankful for, etc, etc, etc. And the best part is that when the notebook is full, you can simply slip it out of the fabric cover, and slide a new notebook in – it’s a gift that keeps on giving! Each notebook comes with a pretty pencil too. =) Here are the styles you’ll have to choose from:

{Green polkadot w/ butterfly pocket}

{Blue Floral}

{Brown and Turquoise Paisley}

{Bright Floral}

{Brown, pink & blue stripes}

Today’s Challenge:

COMMENT here about something that has helped you choose JOY in your life. If you simply say ‘I’d love to win’, it WON’T count! {Just warnin’ ya!} =) Best of luck to all who enter!

OH ~ I will keep the giveaway open until FRIDAY, OCT. 21st at MIDNIGHT. So enter NOW!

{Day 17} More inspirers

Is that even a word? Inspirers? As in, people who inspire me? Who knows ... anyhow, moving on!

So, my computer is acting weird, my internet is acting weird, my blogger is acting weird ... I feel like it's all going to crash on me soon so I hope this post works! haha!

Another AMAZING blogger I've been following for awhile is Sara aka Gitzen Girl. If any of you have heard of her, or followed her, you know that she went home to be with Jesus just a few weeks ago.

Sara was homebound for the last several years because of her chronic illness. But that never stopped Sara from being joyous and embracing life. In fact, her blog is appropriately titled 'Choose Joy' and it was most certainly her motto while here on earth. She lived her life with joy, all the way to the end. Despite all the pain and discomfort she suffered on a daily basis, she still chose joy. JOY, JOY, JOY - she knew and believed with all her heart that GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME.

I praise God that she's no longer suffering here on earth, though I'm sad that we've all lost a wonderful person. After all, I think we need more Sara's here on earth to help spread joy no matter what our circumstances may be. I know this post could be considered sad because Sara is no longer with us - but I do hope you'll still check out her blog and go back through the archives because I promise you will find some inspiration in choosing JOY.

Today's challenge: Stop over to see Sara's blog and if you find it as inspiring as I have, then leave a comment to let her family know. I'm sure it will encourage their hearts to know how many people Sara has touched even during this incredibly sad time in their lives.
And also, in Sara's own words:
"Make it about Him, not you. Enjoy every second. Choose joy."

{Day 16} Who inspires you to be joyful?

Good morning! I'm a little late getting today's post up ... please forgive? Also, it's Sunday and we're getting ready to head out for church so I'm going to keep this short.

Blogging has been a wonderful tool for me. Not just because I get to journal out my thoughts and pictures on here, but also because I've been so inspired by so many amazing women bloggers out there. For the next couple of days I want to feature a couple of them who inspire me {literally} daily in my journey to be a joyful wife and mother.

The first is Rachel, and it should come as no surprise that her blog is titled 'Finding Joy'. Rachel is the Mom of SEVEN beautiful blessings, the youngest of which was diagnosed with Celiac Disease back in January.

On days when I feel overwhelmed over parenting my TWO kids, or keeping my house clean from our little family of FOUR, or running just TWO kids to sports and activities - I think of Rachel. And how she chooses to FIND JOY no matter what. How she homeschools all seven, how her deep love for the Lord shines through everything and how she looks for the JOY in everything. She reminds me to slooooow down and enjoy all the little moments with my kiddos. I promise, if you check out her blog, you will leave inspired too.

Today's challenge is simple:

Take a few minutes to pop over and see Rachel's blog. And say hi while you're there! =) Now go have a WONDERFUL Sunday, enjoying your husband and kids and making it a day of rest - no matter what you do today.