Just 18 Summers

I just finished reading a fantastic book. A novel by the name of Just 18 Summers. A little snippet from the book says "When your child is born, eighteen years seems like they'll last forever. But it goes by in a blink. You have just 18 summers to make memories together. you can't go back and rewind those days."

 So the question is: how will you use that time? 

The book takes you through some ups and downs. I laughed at times and there were also moments I wanted to cry. One time, I was having a hard day with my daughter and I was having a little time to myself to cool down - so I picked up the book to read and just ended up bursting into tears. The idea of the girls growing up SO fast and time just passing too quickly was too much to handle at that moment. 

But overall, I loved the book. This summer we have been through some tough things with our girls. Mostly because they are both growing up so fast and starting to test us in different ways. Many days my heart is all over the place as I love them so fiercely, get angered or hurt so easily and cry way too much. I just wish they could go back to being 6 and 8 years old and just STAY that age forever. But alas, that won't happen, so we continue to roll with the punches as they come. 

This book helped me realize two key things. One is how quickly time is fleeing and how important it is to INVEST time into our kids lives. One set of parents in the book quickly came to regret the fact that they had invested so much time and attention into giving their kids the best of everything and focusing so much on a good education, that they missed the fact that all their kids really wanted was their time and attention. 

The other major thing I learned {and have been learning a LOT this summer} is about trusting God more with my kids. It's kinda funny because 2 years ago we decided to send our kids back into public school after we had homeschooled for 5 years. At that time, I was being challenged mightily by the Lord to fully TRUST Him and put my girl's lives in HIS hands. That year I felt such freedom in loosening my tight grip on the reins and learning to trust Him more. However ... as hard things have come this summer ... mostly in the form of peer pressure and the influence of the world on my daughter, I have been grasping at those reins again and literally clinging to them with all my might. I have mistakenly thought that I somehow could control how my kids turn out, what they do, how they choose to live, etc... by trying to control it all. I had stopped trusting God as much and was trying to rely on my own strengths. 

There were several things in the book that helped me realize these truths but here is a small example of one. I don't want to spoil too much for anyone who might read it, but one of the couples has a college aged daughter who very suddenly announces that she is getting married - to a pizza delivery boy. They are not happy about the wedding and the Mom spends SO much time worrying, crying and praying over the impending doom that is sure to come from this marriage. On the wedding day she finally comes to terms with it saying "I realized all these years I've prayed and I've prayed and I've prayed, but I never really trusted. I never trusted God because sometimes - most of the time - it felt like I didn't have to. I had full control. They were under our roof. They were dependent on our money. The things that were hard in their lives, I could make easier by doing something special for them. And I think at the end of the day I trusted in ... me. And God's called me on it, you know? I'm spinning out of control because I trust in me: to be a good Mom, to keep them safe and fed, to raise them as productive human beings. But you know what? It wasn't me. It wasn't ever me. They're the people they are because of God's grace in their lives. God's mercy in my life, to be the parent I was to them. If I did anything good at all, it was because of Him." 

Oh my heart people, can I just tell you that that moment in this book was written for ME! I feel like I could have written that whole thing word for word myself. It made me weep. Like just utterly, completely in awe that the Lord would bring me to this book and show me so clearly where I've been struggling and how I needed to let those reins go again ... I needed to give them back to God. 

That doesn't mean I stop parenting and just give up! NO WAY! In fact, the job of being a parent never ends and I feel like this summer I have spent more time talking with and sharing with my girls than I have in recent months. But I'm no longer stressing over every little thing and freaking out crying at night all the time because I'm so worried about them making wrong decisions and not growing up 'right'. 

Another quick snippet from the book, as one of the women gave birth to her first baby she makes this important realization: "As she clung to Butch for support, Daphne realized she would need to cling to Jesus just as tightly. There would be days of pain and sorrow and fear, just like now. She had no more control over this child's life than she had over this day."

So as I finished this book I was challenged and also encouraged to cling to Jesus, let go of all that fear and worry and choose to trust Him more. Oh, and also to enjoy all the moments I get to spend with my girls.

 This summer we have made some wonderful memories together but one of my favorites happened just the other night. We had grilled dinner outside and sat on the deck for dinner. After dinner we lit a campfire and sat around it chatting and making s'mores. Then one of us happened to look up and notice how many stars were out that night and suddenly one of us saw a shooting star. The girls then quickly ran to get some blankets and pillows which we spread out over the grass and we all laid there watching the stars for over an hour. We saw a couple more shooting stars, watched the blinking lights of the planes overhead while we guessed at where they were going, and marvelled at the majesty of the stars. We laughed and talked and just had the best time, just the four of us. It will remain one of my favorite memories of this summer. We have just over 3 more weeks until we go back to school ... I plan to soak up every last minute I can get because I only have 5 more summers with Haley and 7 more summers with Jilly {after this year} and quite frankly I can't afford to waste any of them! 

We're melting ....

And I'm NOT just talking about the snow outside!

Today was a rough day. It started out good. In fact, after I had my quiet time I logged on the computer and checked FB and a very sweet friend sent me a message saying 'not sure why, but the Lord brought you to mind today and just wanted to tell you I'm praying for you.' Awww, I was so touched. I jokingly messaged her back and said it was probably because I've had such a lack of discipline with my exercise and eating well lately!

Little did I know ....

Fast forward a couple hours. During school time we ended up with one girl in meltdown mode today. Crying, refusing to do school work, carrying on for HOURS.

Now, a lot of times I don't talk about the struggles of homeschooling. Many days homeschooling is a JOY, but I'd be lying if I didn't tell you that we have some REALLY hard days too.

There are a few reasons why I don't talk about the bad days much.

First, we ALL have bad days, and who really wants them documented for all the world to see? I mean, I'd much rather my kids remember the great things about their childhoods and not have to read about their every bad behavior on my blog.

Second, I sometimes feel like I'm throwing my kids under the bus when I complain or talk negatively about them. They're old enough now to know what I say or read what I write and just like I would never bad talk my hubby on here, I don't think it's fair to bad talk my kids either. I think it would shame them and make them feel bad and that's certainly not the intent of my blog.

Third, there are so many nay-sayers when it comes to homeschooling. Sure I've thought about calling up the school and sticking my kids on the bus at times - but in general this is a path that we believe the Lord has led us to take. So even though we have bad days and many times I might question what we're doing - it doesn't mean I'm giving up on homeschooling!

Anyhow ... the thing about homeschooling your kids is that you constantly question yourself. When they struggle with school you worry and you wonder if you're doing the right thing, if you chose the right curriculum, if you just don't have the ability to teach them. It all comes down on YOU.

I cried about it today. Sat right there on her bed with her and we both cried. It's hard. It's frustrating. I want to help her, I want to make school fun, I want to make life easy for her ... but having an EASY life isn't always part of God's plan.

Later tonight we had some time to talk and snuggle. I explained to her that life IS hard sometimes. We have to do things we don't want to do. We have to struggle through things in order to learn and grow and be stretched. We had a great talk. I'm so thankful that tomorrow is a new day.


And so thankful that the Lord KNEW how my day would go and placed my name on my friend's mind ... that HE cares so much for little ol' me and goes before me and orders my days is simply amazing! {And of course, thankful for wonderful, praying friends!}

I am a Genius!

I am one of those people who is never very consistent with chore charts and such. We start them, we do OK, we get lazy and stop them, etc. There have been times we've had them every week, times we've had none at all, times when we pay a weekly allowance, times when we pay nothing at all. You see what I mean about being very inconsistent?!

The other day I got thinking and came up with what I *hope* will be a brilliant idea in our home.

Here are some known truths around here:

* my kids want to be on the computer more
* I need to get off the computer more
* my kids want to 'earn' for helping with chores
* right now our budget is really tight so I have no real means to 'pay' for such chores

So here is the plan ... for each chore they complete, they earn a certain amount of minutes on the computer! So simple, right?!

I have yet to write up an actual chart, and I might not even bother, but let's say they unload the clean dishes from the dishwasher, then reload the dirty ones - I might 'pay' them with 10 minutes of playing on the computer.

The beauty in this plan is:

1. I'm getting the help I need around the house
2. They're getting the time they want on the computer
3. When they're on the computer - I'M NOT! - which is brilliant cause it keeps me off it more often and doing other things around the house that I should be doing! {We only have ONE computer, so if they're on, I'm OFF!}

I actually spent a huge chunk of my afternoon yesterday crafting because I wasn't wasting my time browsing facebook!

I really am a genius ...




And I will let you know in a couple weeks whether we're still sticking with it and if it's still working out well. =)

January Challenge{s}

I have two things that I would LOVE for you to join me in this January.

The first is The Gentleness Challenge from the WomenLivingWell blog. And basically we are taking the month of January to focus on dealing with our children in a gentle manner. I know I have been guilty of getting angry and yelling SO often and I know it doesn't help the situation AT ALL when I do. I am going to do my very best this month to model the fruits of the spirit to my girls, because how can I expect them to be patient, kind, gentle, etc ... if they don't see it modeled by me?

Have you ever noticed how Michelle Duggar deals with her {19!!} children? She is always so kind & patient and uses such a calm, quiet voice with them! And they LISTEN TO HER! I am always impressed by her. I would like to parent just like that.

The next challenge I'm taking part in is 31 Days to Pray for your Spouse Challenge. Here is the link to find out more. I am guilty of not praying for my husband nearly enough and would like to take this month to be better about that.

So how about you? Would you like to join me and many other women in becoming more gentle with your kiddos and praying for your spouse daily? I feel like this will be such a big month of change for me and I'm very excited about it!

Kids interrupting?

I just had to share with you this brilliant post from one of my new fave homeschool blogs, 'Confessions of a Homeschooler'. I highly recommend you take a minute to go check it out. If you're anything like me ... well actually pretty much every Mom in the world could relate to this - your kids love to interrupt you at the most inconvenient times.

I personally am a Mom who hardly ever talks on the phone. Ever since my girls were little it's something I just began to do less and less. Why? Mostly because pretty much every time I'd pick up the phone it was like someone hit the crazy button and someone would either be screaming, crying, fighting, or just vying for my attention. I got to the point where I simply relied on email more and more because I could complete an email with kids screaming in the background, but could not complete a phone call.

I began training my girls to wait for my attention when they needed it. Even now, if they come into a room and see I'm on the phone I hold one hand up to them to signal to them that I'm busy and they need to wait.

This Mom, at Confessions of a Homeschooler has an even better system to train her children to wait for her attention. As a homeschooler with 4 littles I think this is brilliant - how smart of her to find a way to teach them patience when she might be busy attending to a different child.

So take a minute and go read it ... you will find she is a great Mom who has great organization and great ideas!

Blessed

Aww ... ya'll really do love me! Thanks so much for all the sweet comments after my desperate plea went out to all the lurkers on this blog! I'm so thankful for so many awesome friends and family who take real interest in our lives. {And I promise I will remember that I too need to stop lurking and start showing ya'll some blog love too!}

Anyway, I just wanted to share a couple little stories that have really helped me remember how truly blessed I am. For those that know me well, you know that I have the tendency to over think things (Lynn, stop laughing!) ... and that I always over analyze and often times even question my own decisions.

So homeschooling has been no exception. I've often thought that I'm not equipped to do this, or that the Lord made a mistake by calling me to this, or what if we made the wrong choice ...

But two little things that happened recently have helped encourage me on this journey.

First, as I've mentioned before I try to go outside on the deck each morning before the girls awake to have some quiet time with the Lord ... read my Bible, spend time praying, etc ...
Some days the girls will show up out there with me. It depends how early they wake up.
So one morning H came out. Then after saying good morning she said she'd be right back and came back out holding a book and her little devotional Bible. She then sat down and said that she too was going to read her Bible with me. WOW, I was so encouraged!
I thought back to past years when I've rushed through our morning, trying to get out the door on time and I've never given any time to the Lord. I thought about the fact that because we are homeschooling, and have more time in the morning to ease into our day, it gives us time to really make our quiet time a priority. And it really encouraged my heart to see H doing the same thing and learning through my example! Thank you Lord!

The next thing that happened was on Monday. Mondays are one of Bob's days off so we have decided that Mondays will be our family field trip day. Now since it's still been pretty warm here we decided to go to the beach this Monday. The weather was beautiful and there was hardly anyone there (mostly older people who stared at us like 'why aren't those kids in school?!').
Even the water and the waves were perfect. For a long time the girls played together in the water. For once they were really getting along well and were just laughing and splashing and having a wonderful time. I sat in my chair thinking that I really didn't want to go in the water. I didn't want to get my hair wet or get cold or do anything but sit and relax. But the more I watched the fun the girls were having the more I had the desire to join them.

Finally I got up and ventured into the water. Like I said, it was beautiful, clear, no seaweed, and no jellyfish -- it hadn't been that nice all summer! Needless to say I ended up spending the next hour playing and splashing with the girls in the water. We rode the waves, we swam, we got our swimsuits all full of sand ... it was the most fun I've had in awhile. I felt like a kid again! It was amazing. And to think ... if they had been in school all day I probably would have cleaned my house that day! Another memory made, another chance to thank the Lord for the relationship He is building between us and our children. Thank You Lord!

Now I know these two things are not major events in the grand scheme of life. I simply wanted to share the fact that we can and should take every chance we can to create memories with our kids. They are growing up at an alarming rate and all too soon they will no longer choose to sit in our laps or hold our hands to cross the street.

I'm choosing to be thankful for every day and to use the moments I'm given to enjoy my children. And I'm so thankful that the Lord chose me to be my children's 'teacher' ... I may not be perfect or always do it right, but I can ride the waves and read my Bible and try to teach them about life along the way.

Tooth Trauma - part Two!

My poor, sweet daughter. Her tooth trauma just continues. Today she was swimming when she started acting up (hitting her sis) so I made her come out of the pool and sit on the steps. She was upset and was crying very hard. Then, she starts crying hysterically and comes over to me to show me her bloody mouth. Her second tooth fell out, but she was screaming because she didn't know where it went. She didn't know when it fell out, she didn't even know if she had swallowed it. All she knew was that she was crying and then the tooth was gone.

We looked for it everywhere. We looked all around the bottom of the pool (with goggles!), we looked all around the ground, we looked everywhere! It was no where to be found. As we all know by now she has a very strong attachment to her lost teeth and she was very upset that it was gone. "I WANT MY TOOTH!!" she started screaming.

I'm not really sure why she has such a strong attachment to her teeth ... but I really did feel bad this time since it was truly lost. (I think she might have swallowed it.)

So, I broke down and told the girls that the tooth fairy isn't real. That's she's just for fun like Santa (they know he's not real already). I wanted J to understand that she would still get something from the 'tooth fairy' because it was actually Mommy and Daddy.

But I still think she'd rather just have that tooth back!
{This photo was much later after a much needed nap.}

Living Life ... Under the Microscope

Recently my oldest daughter has been full of questions. It seems like she's trying to figure out how the world around her works. And more specifically how her Mommy works. These are just a few of the questions she's been asking me lately ...

Mom, what makes you laugh? {{OH NO, does this mean I don't laugh enough??}}
Mom, do you like to wash dishes? {{Not really, but someone has to do it!}}
Mom, is driving a car fun? {{Maybe, but you still can't drive till you're 16!}}
Mom, why do you like to cook things? {{Because it's fun to make new things and provide for my family.}}

And on a deeper level ... I have just recently been much better about having a regular 'quiet time' with prayer and reading my Bible each morning. Prior to that I would always wake up and immediately jump right on the computer in the morning. I felt like I was really wasting so much time on the computer and felt such guilt over never making the time for the Lord.

So I have tried very hard to focus on my quiet time first, before I am allowed to 'log on'. It's been a wonderfully, rewarding time for me that I have really come to enjoy. I take my notebook, Bible and prayer journal outside each morning with my coffee and sit and enjoy the wonder of creation in the early morning hours (well, not REALLY early, but at the start of my day.) The girls have often wandered outside to find me in prayer or reading my Bible. I stop and chat with them a bit, or they snuggle up to me on the swing, then I continue on reading or praying until I'm done.

So now the questions have become ...

Mom, are you going to be outside have devotions every morning now instead of being on the computer when we wake up? {{WOW, talk about convicting!!}}
Mom, do you like to read your Bible?
Mom, why do you come outside and pray every morning?

OR, one day recently that I SKIPPED my devotional time and the youngest found me on the computer in the morning ...
Mom, did you read your Bible yet today? {{YIKES, they really DO pay attention don't they?!}}

At times over the last few weeks I have felt like my life is being lived under the microscope. I know that from birth the girls have been observing me and the world around them. But these questions have really challenged me to think hard about what I do and say every day ... and how my actions and words affect the little ones who are watching me.

Having a regular devotional quiet time has never been a priority to me ... I always wanted it to be a priority, but never made it happen. Which is my own fault and something I feel awful about. I am so thankful that God doesn't give up on me though. He is faithful when I am not. I'm thankful that He is using the innocent questions of my little girls to help me to be disciplined. Through their questions and watchful eyes I'm learning just how very important it is that I focus my life on God and living His ways.

I want to let you know that I'm not writing this to 'toot my own horn'. As I mentioned I have just recently begun making this a priority. I know it's hard as a Mom to make time to sit quietly and pray and read the Bible. There were many times when my 'quiet time' was simply reading "Our daily bread" while I sat on the toilet for 5 minutes. And even then, I'd hear the kids start screaming or crying or pounding on the door for my attention!!

Now that the girls have seen me in my effort to make this my priority they have really been wonderful at respecting my time. I usually wake up before them, and brew my coffee and head outdoors with my Bible. And if the girls wake up, which usually at least one of them does ... they wander out and say good morning and most of the time they will go back inside and get some cereal, or watch cartoons, or read a book or play. On rare occasions I'll have to say ... just give me a few more minutes to finish my quiet time. And they are great at respecting that.

I know my kids are a little older than those Moms who might have babies and toddlers. But even at the younger ages I think our kids have the ability to see when something is important to us and respect it. Or even to sit quietly in your lap while you pray. What a great example we are setting for our children when we do this! It's helped me teach the girls that it really is important to "read your Bible, pray everyday" like the old Sunday school song says!

I'll leave you with this poem that I recently received through email. It's all about how children observe things from us when we think they aren't looking. Whether we like it or not, as parents we are living our lives under the microscope ... what will it reveal about you to your children?

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my
first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately
wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a
stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind
to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my
favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little
things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a
prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always
talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a
meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I
learned that we all have to help take care of each
other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of
your time and money to help people who had nothing,
and I learned that those who have something should
give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care
of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have
to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you
handled your responsibilities, even when you didn' t
feel good, and I learned that I would have to be
responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come
from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things
hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you
cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of
life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and
productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and
wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when
you thought I wasn't looking.'

Thankful Thursday

Recently I've heard about the deaths of at least 3 little ones. Little innocent babies or children who were taken from this earth too soon. It's really made me stop and think this week about how truly blessed we are as parents.

So this week I'm thankful for my two beautiful daughters. They are healthy, they are full of life, they are vibrant and silly and sometimes even drive me up the wall. But they have been given to us as a gift from God, they are actually His, but are 'on loan' to us for awhile. We love them, we cherish them, we thank God for them.

Sometimes I want to scream in frustration when they disobey or don't listen, but other times when I hear of a child dying I want to just hold them close forever and protect them from any harm in this world.

I have this little 'tagline' or cliche that comes at the end of emails that I send out. It says "Creating family memories and traditions since 1996." -- I know it sounds a bit commercial-ish but it's truly been my goal in my life, in my marriage and in my parenting - to make memories for my family, and to carry them on as traditions year after year. It's important to me that they have memories and traditions and a legacy to look back on someday.

There's so much more I could say on the topic of my girls ... perhaps I will highlight them individually at another time. Here is a picture of my blessings on Mother's Day:

A wonderful Mother's Day

A few weeks ago I remember telling Bob that it didn't matter what he did for me for Mother's day, as long as he took some time to put some thought into it. I don't need expensive gifts, lavish dinners or huge bouquets, I simply want to feel remembered and honored. Maybe that sounds selfish, but that is how I feel.

Well my man delivered. In a big way. Apparently HE remembered a long ago conversation we'd had about video cameras. We talked about how we have all these beautiful photos of our girls, but no video of their childhood moments. (Well, we do have a very tiny amount of video that we took on my camera, but it's not much and there is no sound.)

So he remembered and he bought me an amazing video camcorder. (It's actually for both my birthday and Mother's day but that is fine with me!)

We had a wonderful day which started with plenty of sunshine. We went to church, then to a local state park for a picnic lunch with my in-laws, then we walked while the girls biked. H has just recently learned to ride a two wheeler and she did awesome. We got to try out the camcorder by taping the girls on their bikes. It was a bit cool and windy but all in all a beautiful day.

My Mom had been out of town but stopped by on her way home so we could wish her Happy Mother's day as well.

It was a simple, quiet, relaxing day. I will cherish it forever.

My most priceless gifts.
Robin and the girls with their bike helmets on.
Bob's Mom, me and the girls.

Dentist and swimming - we've come a long way!

I have to take a few minutes to just brag about the girls and how well they did today. Let's start with the dentist. For some reason they have both been extremely fearful about the dentist. I'm not sure why, they have never had fillings, pain or any other negative experiences. And we go to a wonderful children's dentist. But still for some reason everything was a big deal. They would cry, fuss, whine, and sometimes not even open their mouth. It was always a really big drama that left me totally exhausted just to get their cleanings done.

So last time I had the brilliant idea to bribe them. I know, terrible parenting skills, but it seemed to work. Back in the fall when we went J did great and was able to win the prize that I had offered. H still cried, not a lot but a little and since I said 'no crying', she did not win the prize like J did. (I think this really had an impact on her since she's the older one!)

Today they were both scheduled to go in again. I asked Bob to come with me so we'd have one parent for each kid. I also decided once again to bribe them. The deal was - no crying, fussing or whining and you have to let the dentist do everything they need to do.

They both did AWESOME!!! Bob and I were stunned and so proud. They even had to do those awful bitewing xrays (even I hate those, I gag every time!) ... and they both did them great! They were troopers through the whole process and we were so pleased by how well they did. Leaving the office H said "when can we come back again?" and was disappointed when I said 'not for another 6 months'.

Next comes the swimming lessons. They both have always loved the water and swimming and have done pretty well. They usually take lessons each spring and then spend lots of time swimming in the summer. Bob and I are water people too and since we love to be in and around water we feel that it is crucial that the girls learn the proper techniques for safety. So today was another swimming lesson, and nothing major happened, but I just wanted to brag for a quick second about how well they are both doing. They are both the oldest child in each of their classes, so I'm sure that makes a difference. But they are both just doing awesome. We were watching from the side of the pool today and were amazed at how great they are doing and how quickly they are picking up on the strokes and techniques. Another proud moment!

I love my little girls! I am such a proud Mom (every day) but especially today! {{SIDE NOTE, THIS IS A FEW DAYS OLD, I TRIED TO POST THE OTHER DAY BUT IT WASN'T WORKING, SO THIS HAPPENED ON TUESDAY.}} AND NOW THAT I'M THINKING OF IT AND MISSED THANKFUL THURSDAY AGAIN I THINK THIS IS WHAT I'M SO THANKFUL FOR THIS WEEK!

Letting go ... little by little.

Sunday night was H's first sleepover. Well, she has slept over with Grandma's, but never at a friend's home before. She was nervous and excited all at the same time. She definitely still needs her Mama to tuck her in at night, and was nervous that she might miss us too much.

Still, she was going to her friend Katie's house, and her other friend Mady was going too. The 3 of them were very excited to have this adventure together. So off she went. I will admit, I missed her ... it's hard to let your kids go. I trust my friend 100% with caring for my kids, but as I lay there trying to fall asleep that night I kept thinking ... I wish I could just go check on her in her bed.

Perhaps the cutest thing was how much J missed her sister. J was not upset about not going to sleep over, in fact we did lots of fun things together - me, Bob and J. It was great to have some time with just one child at a time. But she missed her big sister! She kept asking us if she could call H, or when H would be coming home ... it was neat to see that even though they fight so much, they really do love one another!

H ended up doing great. She had a great time and my friend said she was fine, and also well behaved (something every parent loves to hear!) And even though we missed her, I'm glad she could have this time of fun and for us all to learn that little by little we have to learn to let our kids go ... or maybe I should say, let them grow. =)

Patience

I will admit, I have a real lack of patience when it comes to my kids. I often find myself shouting at them to 'hurry up and get in the car!', 'hurry up and get dressed!', or 'hurry up and get eating your breakfast!'.

It's not that we are running late, it's just that I have this need to be in control at all times, and to have everyone else follow my agenda for the day. I often find myself getting frustrated and impatient when the kids don't do things exactly as I want and when I want.

This morning while doing our Bible time I saw my faults staring me right in the face ... our subject for the day was, you guessed it, PATIENCE!

Last night I was busy doing something when H kept bugging me about watching a TV show, she nagged and nagged and nagged until I finally yelled at her to 'BE PATIENT!!'

So this morning as we read in our Bible lesson about patience, I felt such guilt over my own lack of patience. I feel as though I fail my kids so many times when it comes to modeling good behaviors and self control. After all, how can I expect them to be patient when I myself can't control my own impatient attitude?

Being a parent is definitely a real eye opener. Daily I am faced by my own inadequacies and guilt over the many ways I have messed up. I'm truly thankful that my kids forgive me, time and time again. Even more, how much more does God forgive me ... and He knows all the hidden thoughts and faults that no one else even sees!

This week, my prayer and my mission, is to work on being more patient with my kids. Our verse this morning was from Lamentations 3:26 "It is good to wait quietly". I wrote it out on some index cards and posted it in several places in my home ... it will be my daily reminder to watch my impatient attitude.

Inspiration and Encouragement all around me

Lately H and I have had a really hard time with one another when it comes to school time. This is always a tough time of year because it's cold and yucky out and we're house bound for what seems like forever. It's hard to keep everyone happy and entertained in the house, for months on end.

So Monday is when it all seemed to fall apart. Well, at least I fell apart. We were having yet another rough school day with her being grumpy and not wanting to do the work and me feeling so frustrated that all I could do was cry. I felt so discouraged and wondered for the first time if maybe I wasn't doing the right thing by homeschooling her. I worried that she would lose her love of learning because she seemed to loathe school time most days. (Well, not all the time, but for the last few weeks.) I felt as though we'd hit a real low point in our student/teacher/mother/daughter relationship.

Luckily I am blessed to have in-laws who take care of the girls every Monday afternoon. As bad as this sounds, I think it was nice for H and I to have a few hours away from one another. I went to work for a few hours, and since they were on sale ... came home with a dozen beautiful pink, purple and yellow roses. It's funny how something like flowers can really bring my mood up!

Next, I requested prayer from my alumni friends from Bible college and received many great ideas and encouraging thoughts and prayers from other homeschooling Moms who are just like me.

The next morning I talked to my friend Sarah for a long time, she is homeschooling as well and offered lots of support and encouragement.

I'm not sure why, but sometimes I feel as though I need to hide it when I'm going through a tough time. It's hard to admit when things aren't going perfectly! But I'm so thankful that the Lord helps me see that I can't do it all on my own. That there are many others who are there to encourage and support me, if only I'll let them. And through it all, God is faithful. He never fails me.

So here's what I've learned about homeschooling H ...

• I need to pray more, by myself and with her.
• I have a creative mind ... I need to USE it, to keep things fun for her so she doesn't get bored with worksheets.
• There are resources everywhere that I have not taken advantage of but need to! (library, internet, museums, etc)
• I need to realize that life isn't perfect, and we will have bad days and good days.
• I need to remember that I had days as a child when I hated school too, and that's OK.
• I need to school her in a way that appeals to her interests!
• I need to remember that I'm not alone!
  

Thank you Lord, for showing me that I am not perfect, my child is not perfect and life is not perfect. Thank you for your faithfulness through our trials and your wisdom for dealing with life's ups and downs. Thank you for my beautiful, healthy, vibrant children ... give me strength, creativity, and energy as I teach them every day. Thank you for friends and family who encourage us, pray for us, and help us in raising our kids. And thank you for the internet which connects me to friends, family and other homeschooling Moms all over the country in ways that I am so thankful for!

I don't usually do this on my blog but ...

I know a lot of other Moms (and Grandmas) read my blog ... so I'm going to ask some parenting advice. And let me just start by saying that I adore both of my children with all of my heart. But we all know that parenting is hard work, and sometimes we need a little (OK, a LOT) of help with it. I pray daily for the strength and patience I need to parent my girls well, but sometimes I also need a little practical advice from other parents ... you know what I mean??

So, here goes:
One of my children is not a good listener. Most times I have to ask her 4-5 times before she will do what I have asked.

I have disciplined her for it, but being that she is very sensitive she just gets really upset, and I wonder if she really got the message.

I feel as though all day I am saying "YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO MOMMY". I have tried the tough approach and I have tried the compassionate approach.

Sometimes I don't know if she is disobeying, because she is the type who is VERY easily distracted. So on the way to put her PJ's on, she sees a toy and she stops ... then I tell her again to put PJ's on and she walks to the dresser and sees a book and stops to look at it ... so I tell her a 3rd time and she gets halfway undressed before stopping again to pick up the toy ... etc, etc, etc, on it goes.

Could this be a symptom of ADD? (I'm not trying to 'label' her, just trying to understand the behavior.)
Or do you other parents just think it's out right disobedience?
I feel as though she could be disciplined ALL day long and she would still act the same way because like I said before she's very easily distracted.

I know she has the ability to focus, because she does well in preschool. And she is a quick learner, even times when I think she isn't paying attention and she ends up retaining information.

So, what advice have you got?? I am really struggling with this one. And feel free to email me if you need lots of space to write! Thanks friends!