Living Life ... Under the Microscope

Recently my oldest daughter has been full of questions. It seems like she's trying to figure out how the world around her works. And more specifically how her Mommy works. These are just a few of the questions she's been asking me lately ...

Mom, what makes you laugh? {{OH NO, does this mean I don't laugh enough??}}
Mom, do you like to wash dishes? {{Not really, but someone has to do it!}}
Mom, is driving a car fun? {{Maybe, but you still can't drive till you're 16!}}
Mom, why do you like to cook things? {{Because it's fun to make new things and provide for my family.}}

And on a deeper level ... I have just recently been much better about having a regular 'quiet time' with prayer and reading my Bible each morning. Prior to that I would always wake up and immediately jump right on the computer in the morning. I felt like I was really wasting so much time on the computer and felt such guilt over never making the time for the Lord.

So I have tried very hard to focus on my quiet time first, before I am allowed to 'log on'. It's been a wonderfully, rewarding time for me that I have really come to enjoy. I take my notebook, Bible and prayer journal outside each morning with my coffee and sit and enjoy the wonder of creation in the early morning hours (well, not REALLY early, but at the start of my day.) The girls have often wandered outside to find me in prayer or reading my Bible. I stop and chat with them a bit, or they snuggle up to me on the swing, then I continue on reading or praying until I'm done.

So now the questions have become ...

Mom, are you going to be outside have devotions every morning now instead of being on the computer when we wake up? {{WOW, talk about convicting!!}}
Mom, do you like to read your Bible?
Mom, why do you come outside and pray every morning?

OR, one day recently that I SKIPPED my devotional time and the youngest found me on the computer in the morning ...
Mom, did you read your Bible yet today? {{YIKES, they really DO pay attention don't they?!}}

At times over the last few weeks I have felt like my life is being lived under the microscope. I know that from birth the girls have been observing me and the world around them. But these questions have really challenged me to think hard about what I do and say every day ... and how my actions and words affect the little ones who are watching me.

Having a regular devotional quiet time has never been a priority to me ... I always wanted it to be a priority, but never made it happen. Which is my own fault and something I feel awful about. I am so thankful that God doesn't give up on me though. He is faithful when I am not. I'm thankful that He is using the innocent questions of my little girls to help me to be disciplined. Through their questions and watchful eyes I'm learning just how very important it is that I focus my life on God and living His ways.

I want to let you know that I'm not writing this to 'toot my own horn'. As I mentioned I have just recently begun making this a priority. I know it's hard as a Mom to make time to sit quietly and pray and read the Bible. There were many times when my 'quiet time' was simply reading "Our daily bread" while I sat on the toilet for 5 minutes. And even then, I'd hear the kids start screaming or crying or pounding on the door for my attention!!

Now that the girls have seen me in my effort to make this my priority they have really been wonderful at respecting my time. I usually wake up before them, and brew my coffee and head outdoors with my Bible. And if the girls wake up, which usually at least one of them does ... they wander out and say good morning and most of the time they will go back inside and get some cereal, or watch cartoons, or read a book or play. On rare occasions I'll have to say ... just give me a few more minutes to finish my quiet time. And they are great at respecting that.

I know my kids are a little older than those Moms who might have babies and toddlers. But even at the younger ages I think our kids have the ability to see when something is important to us and respect it. Or even to sit quietly in your lap while you pray. What a great example we are setting for our children when we do this! It's helped me teach the girls that it really is important to "read your Bible, pray everyday" like the old Sunday school song says!

I'll leave you with this poem that I recently received through email. It's all about how children observe things from us when we think they aren't looking. Whether we like it or not, as parents we are living our lives under the microscope ... what will it reveal about you to your children?

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my
first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately
wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a
stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind
to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my
favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little
things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a
prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always
talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a
meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I
learned that we all have to help take care of each
other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of
your time and money to help people who had nothing,
and I learned that those who have something should
give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care
of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have
to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you
handled your responsibilities, even when you didn' t
feel good, and I learned that I would have to be
responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come
from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things
hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you
cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of
life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and
productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and
wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when
you thought I wasn't looking.'