{Day 14} The Power of a Positive Mom

 

WOW, it’s day 14 already and I can hardly believe we’re quickly approaching the halfway mark! I admitted to a friend the other day that I decided to write these 31 days posts at the very last minute and during the first couple of days I started to feel a little panicky that I wouldn’t have enough to write about for 31 days. I found myself thinking I’d have to drop out halfway through and then feel silly for not completing the month! Hahaha, well little did I know I was so long winded after all!

Anyhow, if you haven’t been here before I am taking the month of October to join The Nester and about 700 other bloggers in posting a 31 day challenge. My month is all about 31 Days to Becoming a JOYful Wife and Mother. In the past 2 weeks we’ve talked mostly about being a joyful wife.

I had the opportunity to give a 10 minute talk at our MOMS group at church last week and my topic was about The Power of a Positive Mom based on the book by Karol Ladd.

I know I’ve shared some of my story before, but in case you’re new here I want to share just a bit again. I love and adore my two girls dearly, I really and truly do. But I wasn’t always a joyful or positive Mom to them.

I mentioned a couple days ago that they are pretty close together – only 17 months to be exact. So when they were little things were a little overwhelming to me. I also have a lot of perfectionist tendencies in my personality which is tough when you have little ones. As we all know babies and toddlers don’t always sleep when we want them to, eat what we want them to, or behave the way we’d like them to. All of those things just frustrated and aggravated me. I was often a Mom who yelled and screamed at my girls in anger or frustration.

Was my whole journey of Motherhood like this? No, of course not. I DID enjoy my girls, I DID many fun things with them, I DID love them to pieces. But there were so many times when my Monster Mommy alter ego would come out and just lose it on my kids.

Part of my issue was I wanted to be in control. More than anything I wanted my kids to do what I asked, when I asked and with a happy heart {thankyouverymuch!}. When they would not listen, or would disobey or would want to make choices of their own, I just wouldn’t handle it well.

Around that time I came across some wonderful books that were an incredible encouragement to my heart. One of them was called Mom and Loving It by Sharon Lovejoy Autry & Laurie Lovejoy Hilliard and the other one was called The Power of a Positive Mom by Karol Ladd. I also read a verse at that time which was Proverbs 14:1 “A wise woman builds her house, but the foolish one tears hers down with her own hands.” And when I read that verse, the book I was reading at the time {which I can’t remember, sorry!} said that a foolish woman tore her house down by over scheduling, being too busy to pray and screaming demands at her children. WOW, was that ever a wake up call for me. I felt like I was looking at the foolish woman in the mirror and it wasn’t pretty. I also remember a day that I had screamed at my oldest daughter and clearly remember that I made a very mean, nasty face toward her as I screamed. She of course erupted in tears and I walked away, went to my room and made the face to myself in the mirror that I had just made to her – when I saw how horribly mean and nasty and awful it was I cried too! I couldn’t believe I was treating my children like a monster! I began to wonder and worry if their memories of me would be me being mean and nasty to them when I wanted them to do things. I felt like I was in a pit and couldn't get out on my own.

At that time I decided I needed to pray to the Lord EVERY day that He would deliver me from being that foolish woman. I prayed that when I was ready to scream, that instead I would stop and pray or remove myself to the other room until I could handle things calmly. Slowly, over time my prayers were answered. I became more patient, I found out I could parent without screaming. I could discipline and train and teach but still be in control. I couldn't do it alone, but with HIS strength, I could!

When I spoke at MOMS on Friday a friend came up to me afterward and said ‘I never would have thought that you struggled with this because you always seem so positive.’ And that’s only because HE has changed me and helped me over the past several years. I’m still not perfect and never will be, I still have times when I lose my patience and get upset, but I try to remain calm and keep control and pray!

So I guess my point in all this is to encourage anyone who might be going through something similar. Parenting is one of the toughest, and yet most rewarding jobs there is! We need daily strength that only our Heavenly Father can give. We need to stay on our knees for our kids and for ourselves!

Today’s challenge is:

Are you struggling to find joy in your parenting? If you are, don’t do it alone. First, PRAY every single day that the Lord will fill your heart with JOY for this calling He’s given to you. He did not mess up in choosing you to be the Mom to these kids! He KNOWS you can do it, but that you need to rely on HIM for the strength and wisdom to do it. He WILL give you JOY overflowing if you commit your ways to Him and give it your all. Also, find a prayer partner or trusted friend that you can share with. Make sure it’s someone you can trust to pray for you, but not gossip about you behind your back. Pray with that friend, be honest with your friend about your struggles, encourage one another, help one another out. And if you like to read, I can’t say enough good things about these two books:

The Power of a Positive Mom by Karol Ladd

Mom and Loving It! by Sharon Lovejoy Autry & Laurie Lovejoy Hilliard