I've been thinking lately ...

about marriage ... and loving our spouse and how to do it well.

I've been discouraged lately by so many people who rant and complain and go on and on about their spouse on Facebook.

I've been challenged to love and respect my husband as I should.

And today I read this awesome post from Ann at A Holy Experience. Please take a moment to go read it.

I was most struck by this line, "This is how to make love out of a marriage: Love lays down it’s own wants to lift up the will of another."

Many times truly loving our spouse means putting aside our own agendas and plans for the day. It means giving up the TV so he can watch what he wants. It means when he calls from work because he forgot his wallet I put aside whatever I was doing and drive it to him.

Loving someone else means you are willing to make the sacrifices for them. And not just to make them, but to do it willingly and yes, even cheerfully. Not grudgingly, not complaining for all of FB to see, not treating your man as if he is a forgetful child.

I made a lot of mistakes in my early years of marriage. And I still make a lot of mistakes. But one thing I have learned is when to keep my mouth shut out of respect for my husband. In the book 'For Women Only' by Shaunti Feldhan she talks about how being respected is one of the most valuable ways that a man feels love.

Just a few things I've been thinking of .... so as we go into the month of February and reflect on how to love our spouses, let's put RESPECT right up there at the top of our to do list.

***Edited to add***
Saw this on another blog today too and loved that it ties in with what I was talking about ....

I Corinthians 13 gives the best definition of what loving your husband looks like ~

Love is patient ~ Are you patient with your husband and allowing God to work in his life instead of nagging, manipulating, and controlling him?

Love is kind ~ Are you kind to your husband and treating him better than you treat others?

Love is not jealous ~ Are you jealous of your husband, maybe when he goes golfing with the guys while you are stuck at home? Or do you encourage him and are happy for him when he gets to have fun and do something he enjoys?

Love does not brag and is not arrogant ~ Do you respect your husband's ideas and plans? Do you share your ideas with him in a humble way?

Love does not act unbecomingly ~ Do you put on your best behavior for your husband? This means no pouting, yelling, or silent treatment to get your way.

Loves does not seek its own ~ Do you want your husband's best? Do you seek to please him and make him happy?

Love does not provoke ~ Do you act gently with your husband? Do you allow him his opinions and support them, even if you disagree with them? Do you honor him?

Love does not take into account a wrong suffered ~ Do you hold onto grudges or do you forgive quickly and easily as Christ forgave you?

Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth!

Love bears all things ~ All those habits that you don't like of his and that annoy you, you bear them, because you love him. You put up with his in-laws, friends, and the toilet seat up, because you love him.

Love believes all things ~ You believe the best about him. You know he has faults, but you choose to dwell on his good qualities, because you know everyone has faults and because you love him.

Love hopes all things ~ You hope for the best in him. You praise him even when he isn't worthy of praise, because you love him.

Love endures all things ~ You stay married to him until death do you part. You keep your vows through the good times and the bad, because you love him.

Love never fails ~ Even when you don't "feel" like you love him, you love him because you base your love on a decision and a commitment, not on a feeling.