The growing up of girls

A couple weeks ago I talked about going through a particularly tough week with my oldest daughter. I forgot to come back and blog about it. Sorry!

Anyway, a few things sort of snow-balled that week leading to a week full of tears and trials. First, she went to 2 sleepovers in less than 5 days. And I'm not sure about your kids, but my kids hardly EVER get any sleep at 'sleep'overs!
Then, she had her braces adjusted. And when they put the new wire in it was poking the back of her mouth really bad. She was in pain, her mouth was being cut up and it was really hard to reach the protective wax back there where the sore spot was.
Then, she learned ALL about what happens to girls when they grow up. Sort of by mistake.

So yeah, it was a rough week for my girl.

I had been planning to talk with her about girly stuff like periods and such for awhile now. I knew she was already starting to grow and change {much too fast for me!} but thought I had a little time still. Then one day she came home from the library {she went with Grandma} with the American Girl book called The Care and Keeping of You. Basically it's 'the body book'. It tells girls what to expect and how to deal with it and get through it. {by the way the book is fabulous}

So she comes home with this book and my heart sort of starts to skip a beat -- wait, what? We're gonna have to do this NOW?! But I think, OK, you can do this Kathy. Maybe it's a good thing that SHE picked it out, not you. So I tell her that I think that is a book we should read through together. She's OK with that so we have a plan.

But plans sort of fail sometimes, you know? And I SHOULD have thought ahead to put the book aside until we could read it together but I didn't and the next thing I know was ....

I'm about to get in bed one night around 11pm and I hear her crying in the hall asking for Mommy. I come down the hall to see what's wrong and she tells me she read the book. 'You read the book? How much did you read?' I say. The whole thing she tells me. 'You read the WHOLE BOOK?!' I say - sort of trying not to freak out!

Basically she couldn't sleep so she turned her little bed lamp on and read the WHOLE book in one evening. Then she was so upset by everything she read that she couldn't stop crying or go to sleep! She told me she's afraid to grow up, she doesn't want to change and she's afraid she won't feel like herself anymore and that she'll just want to go back to the way she was.

We ended up having a great talk about it and I assured her that she will still be 'her' and that the wonderful person she is will still be there despite the physical changes. I felt *so* bad for her. Poor thing was just so upset. I can't say I blame her, I mean who would want to go through all these crazy changes! ha!

Anyhow ... ALL of these things made for a very emotional and tear-filled week.

It's so hard to see your child go through difficult times. It's hard to see them sad or scared or worried about the future. I have seen a lot of changes in my oldest over the past year and I know that this is just the beginning of the changes to come.

At times it can become draining. I get tired of the tears and the battles and such. But overall I'm so impressed with the wonderful young lady she is becoming. A few months ago she was mad at me one day and told me she was going to run away. I seriously felt my jaw hit the floor. I was both sad and scared when she said that. I barely held my tears in as I explained to her how sad it would make me if she ran away as well as how fearful I would be for her safety and well being. We talked through it and she then clung to me saying 'I don't want to leave, I was just mad but I would never want to leave.'

I'm sure there will be more trying times to come. I'm sure she might even threaten to run away again. I'm sure she will hate me at times. I'm sure there will be lots of emotional times and lots of conversations together.

I'm so thankful to be the Mama of these girls though. I'm so happy that I get to be the one sharing with them about growing up and changing and stuff like that. I'm glad that even though they get mad at me sometimes they still trust me and talk to me and share with me honestly. I pray that they always will.

I'm currently {slowly} making my way through Bringing Up Girls by Dr. James Dobson. It's amazing. I love it. I can't recommend it enough. {sorry, just had to throw that in there cause it applies}

I feel like prayer has been my saving grace in raising girls thus far. I truly need to hit my knees for them daily. I'm not always good about remembering that - I've had plenty of times where I thought *I* knew best only to be humbled and realize that HE knows best and that the best gift I can gift to my girls is to pray for them daily.

So that's it in a nutshell. I love my girls. They need my prayers. And I pray that through His strength we'll all get through these tough years and come through the other side closer than ever.

If you have any insight into raising pre-teen or teen girls I'd love to hear from you!