Taking Care of your soul

Someone asked what I talked about at MOMS last week ... so I thought, what the heck, why not post my notes here on my blog? ;)

Let me start by saying that this year at our MOMS group we have been using the book 'Taking Care of the Me in Mommy' by Lisa Welchel {which I highly recommend!}. Each month we have focused on one area of taking care of yourself. So this month, when I was slated to speak, was called Taking Care of your Soul.

I'm going to post this in a few parts because it's quite lengthy AND because it's sort of divided by two main points - taking care of your mind, and making time for your hobbies. So, here we go!


Our topic this month is taking care of your SOUL. I admit, this topic had me a little confused. I didn’t really understand the difference between your spirit and your soul. I guess I’d always thought they were one in the same. I asked some opinions from people I knew and tried to research it online and still struggled with what makes them different. However, for the sake of this book, Lisa determines that your spirit is the taking care of your spiritual growth – as in – your relationship with the Lord. Reading God’s Word, praying and Bible study are all good ways to take care of your spirit.

For taking care of your soul, Lisa talks more about taking care of your mind, and making time for hobbies and fun. I guess I like to think of your soul as who you really are deep down. The things that excite you and that you are passionate about. The God given talents and creativity you were born with. And the morals and values you hold firm to.

I want to start by reading a paragraph from a great book called ‘Mom, and loving it!’. “Mom and loving it! It sounds so noble, but if you are anything like us, you struggle at times to find real enjoyment in this thing called ‘motherhood’. Adding children to your life may have sounded so glamorous and fulfilling, but you and I quickly realized it was the most challenging job we’d ever taken on. Many times all the demands and expectations of motherhood leave us with feelings of guilt and inadequacy, asking ourselves, ‘why am I not enjoying this time in my life?’ Or, ‘can I do this?’ We live with secret struggles that we don’t share with anyone because we feel so bad about them. Our guilt often grows into bitterness and resentment because we can’t live up to the ideal Mom that lives in our minds. Contentment seems like a lofty, unattainable goal – way out there.” OK, show of hands, anyone felt like that before? Yeah, me too … all the time!

But God hasn’t called us to be perfect. In fact, He knows better than anyone that we never can be perfect, but as Karol Ladd shares in the book ‘The Power of a Positive Mom’, “God has given us a high calling as mothers. Our calling is to honor Christ in raising our families and building our homes.” Not having perfect homes or perfect kids – simply honoring Christ in the way we raise our family and the way we build our home.

Proverbs 14:1 says, ‘a wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.’

Now as we seek to build our families in a way that glorifies God, I believe we need to establish some guidelines for ourselves. In chapter 11 of our book Lisa talks about ‘keeping a girdle on your mind’. Our world today is filled with technology. It seems there is rarely a quiet moment with all of our TV’s, radios, ipods, video games, etc. And all of these things can be good things in our lives – but they can also be bad if we allow them to be. Television and the internet have become so current, so accessible that we can literally see or hear something happen as it is taking place LIVE. The negative effects of this are far reaching – take for example the young athlete who died at the beginning of the recent Olympics. The fact that his death was shown on TV and the internet is sad and sickening. Or maybe some of you watched the men snowboarders as they flew through the air with flips and twists … but maybe you also heard some of the inappropriate language they used with their coaches. LIVE, un-edited TV can be dangerous and we need to be careful about it – especially when viewing with our children.

Before I go on, you need to know I am NOT going to tell you not to watch TV or which shows I think you should or should not watch. I will be the first to admit I love TV and watch some really stupid things sometimes. I also love my country music and love to play wii games with my kids. I am NOT here to judge. I do however have a few things to share about areas that I’ve been convicted about.

When my kids were little we always had this music battle in the car. They would always ask for kids songs – like the Wiggles and all that stuff that gets stuck in your head for hours! But sometimes I would simply say ‘no, it’s Mommy’s turn to listen to MY music.’ {see I’m just a selfish sinner!} Anyway, I’d listen to my country music and sing along. All the while I thought the girls weren’t paying attention, they were usually talking or giggling or playing with each other in the back. Until one day … one day we were bringing one of the girls home in the car with us. As I’m driving along, listening to my music, I suddenly heard this little voice coming from the back that was singing along ‘so just sit right here and have another beer in Mexico!’ Oh my goodness! I about died! It was my daughter’s friend – just singing along with the music on the radio! I felt so bad I apologized over and over to my friend … who later told me that her daughter began singing it again at the dinner table that night!

That experience was a big wake up call for me. Our children are watching, listening and yes, even copying everything they see us do.

Which is why it’s SO important to guard your heart and mind. Remember what our job was? To “honor Christ in raising our families and building our homes” Proverbs 4:23 says, “above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Have you ever heard the expression ‘garbage in equals garbage out’? Of course, we all have. And it makes sense.
What you allow into your mind is what you will dwell on and what you dwell on is what will come out of your mouth and invade your thoughts.

I have never been a fan of horror movies. But I stupidly allowed myself to watch two very disturbing movies many years ago. And I can honestly tell you that the images and scenes from those two movies are still burned into my memory today. The things we allow into our minds WILL stay with us, for many years to come.

James 1:13-15 says “when tempted, no one should say ‘God is tempting me’, for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full grown, gives birth to death.”

Our minds are constantly being tempted by the onslaught of sin. Karol Ladd shares, “from the internet to Hollywood to magazines at the checkout stands, immoral images and corrupting information swirl around our families. Gone are the days when purity was valued, human life was respected, and God was almost unanimously reverenced. The tide has shifted to a sexually open and perverse society that devalues human life through violence and abortion makes God and His followers the object or derision. Although years ago the name of God was honored and revered even by unbelievers, now Christians are the subjects of jokes, and God Himself is portrayed as a goofy cartoon character on prime time television!”

As I said before – I would never tell you what you should or should not watch on TV. You girls know me – you know that JUST this week I watched a garbage show called ‘The Bachelor’. I’m not hiding anything here – I’m guilty of allowing garbage in my own mind. But what I would encourage is to pray and listen to your convictions. A few years back I had some strong convictions over much of the garbage TV I was watching. I was more concerned with the smutty story lines than with keeping the heat in my own marriage. Feeling convicted I stopped watching those shows and never looked back. But I still make bad choices. I still need the Lord to keep working on me. But again, if you are concerned about whether what you’re watching is good I would listen to your convictions. If it seems bad … it probably is bad.

So what can we do to FEED our minds? The most obvious is taking care of your spirit and your relationship with the Lord. Beyond that, there are many good things to fill your mind with and boost your brainpower!

Since becoming a Mom – have you ever just feel like your mind is turning to mush? Do you know the words to ‘Goodnight Moon’ better than the words to the National Anthem?? Do you catch yourself telling hubby that you need to ‘go potty’?? That’s when you know you need to start exercising that brain again! As the saying goes ‘a mind is a terrible thing to waste’!

In a recent study, researchers have shown that exercising your brain by participating in certain activities later in life may help prevent memory loss. {DISCLAIMER – I KNOW NONE OF US ARE ‘LATER IN LIFE’ …YET!} Participants in the study ranged from people with mild memory loss to people with no memory issues. Those who were involved in activities such as reading, crafting and playing games were 30-50 percent less likely to develop memory loss than those who did not do these activities. The study suggests that one of the simplest things you can do to prevent memory loss is to keep your mind active!

{{I have a lot more to say but think this is getting too long, so I'll split this up and add more in another post ... or two! So stay tuned for what you can do to 'feed your brain'!!}}