So in our MOMS study this year we are going through the book called "The 5 Love Languages of Children".
The languages are:
Words of Affirmation
Physical Touch
Acts of Service
Quality Time
Gifts
So you basically figure out which language your child is and how to best love them and relate to them as a result. So today we took the "test" to see which language that we ourselves fit into. I could have guessed before I'd even tested and was correct when the test came out that I clearly am a "words of affirmation" kind of girl.
Unfortunately my hubby tends to show his love more in the acts of service department ... he is a wonderful hubby, doing laundry, dishes, cooking, etc ... but rarely ever giving words of affirmation. Now, before anyone thinks I'm using this as a chance to grumble against my hubby ... please don't take it that way!! I love him dearly, he is the best hubby I could have ever hoped for, and he is truly my best friend and soulmate.
I guess this just has me thinking ... if your 'language' is something that your hubby is clearly not good at ... how do you remedy that? Some friends and I joked over lunch today that we need to make a sign and hold it up periodically "Honey, remember, I'm WORDS OF AFFIRMATION??!!" Do we tell him? Do we not? Does being a woman after God's own heart mean we put our 'language' needs aside and simply serve as Christ has called us to? Does 'speaking' to him in his love language eventually lead to his speaking yours?
I'm curious to hear others thoughts on this subject!
2 comments:
Good question, Kathy! I've thought about that a lot myself. I think it's most common for married folks to speak different languages.
The temptation with the "love languages" information is to focus on my own language and how to "hear" it more. But I think that your last two questions are close to the target.
In a practical sense, yes, we have to put our language needs aside. I'm not saying don't ever discuss the concepts with your man; rather, let go of the idea that you might somehow get him to speak your language. It's much easier to be content and to feel loved if you are working on speaking his language to him... and learning to hear "I love you" in his acts of service.
I do think that the Lord will bless your efforts to speak love to your man in the ways that speak loudest to him, and that you are likely, somewhere down the road, to hear more of your language from him. But I think that's a side benefit, really.
I think one of the biggest blessings of the love languages concept is that we can learn to interpret, to speak a new language... to hear clean laundry say "Honey, I appreciate you as my wonderful wife and the fabulous mother of our children. I love you dearly and I'm so glad you're my wife."
great thoughts Laurel! I have read and wholeheartedly believe in the Created to be His Helpmeet book, as I'm sure you have too. Guess that's where some of my thoughts and questions come from. And probably where your response does too. That's it's our calling from God to serve our men without expecting something in return.
Again, thank you for your thoughts!
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