Just 18 Summers

I just finished reading a fantastic book. A novel by the name of Just 18 Summers. A little snippet from the book says "When your child is born, eighteen years seems like they'll last forever. But it goes by in a blink. You have just 18 summers to make memories together. you can't go back and rewind those days."

 So the question is: how will you use that time? 

The book takes you through some ups and downs. I laughed at times and there were also moments I wanted to cry. One time, I was having a hard day with my daughter and I was having a little time to myself to cool down - so I picked up the book to read and just ended up bursting into tears. The idea of the girls growing up SO fast and time just passing too quickly was too much to handle at that moment. 

But overall, I loved the book. This summer we have been through some tough things with our girls. Mostly because they are both growing up so fast and starting to test us in different ways. Many days my heart is all over the place as I love them so fiercely, get angered or hurt so easily and cry way too much. I just wish they could go back to being 6 and 8 years old and just STAY that age forever. But alas, that won't happen, so we continue to roll with the punches as they come. 

This book helped me realize two key things. One is how quickly time is fleeing and how important it is to INVEST time into our kids lives. One set of parents in the book quickly came to regret the fact that they had invested so much time and attention into giving their kids the best of everything and focusing so much on a good education, that they missed the fact that all their kids really wanted was their time and attention. 

The other major thing I learned {and have been learning a LOT this summer} is about trusting God more with my kids. It's kinda funny because 2 years ago we decided to send our kids back into public school after we had homeschooled for 5 years. At that time, I was being challenged mightily by the Lord to fully TRUST Him and put my girl's lives in HIS hands. That year I felt such freedom in loosening my tight grip on the reins and learning to trust Him more. However ... as hard things have come this summer ... mostly in the form of peer pressure and the influence of the world on my daughter, I have been grasping at those reins again and literally clinging to them with all my might. I have mistakenly thought that I somehow could control how my kids turn out, what they do, how they choose to live, etc... by trying to control it all. I had stopped trusting God as much and was trying to rely on my own strengths. 

There were several things in the book that helped me realize these truths but here is a small example of one. I don't want to spoil too much for anyone who might read it, but one of the couples has a college aged daughter who very suddenly announces that she is getting married - to a pizza delivery boy. They are not happy about the wedding and the Mom spends SO much time worrying, crying and praying over the impending doom that is sure to come from this marriage. On the wedding day she finally comes to terms with it saying "I realized all these years I've prayed and I've prayed and I've prayed, but I never really trusted. I never trusted God because sometimes - most of the time - it felt like I didn't have to. I had full control. They were under our roof. They were dependent on our money. The things that were hard in their lives, I could make easier by doing something special for them. And I think at the end of the day I trusted in ... me. And God's called me on it, you know? I'm spinning out of control because I trust in me: to be a good Mom, to keep them safe and fed, to raise them as productive human beings. But you know what? It wasn't me. It wasn't ever me. They're the people they are because of God's grace in their lives. God's mercy in my life, to be the parent I was to them. If I did anything good at all, it was because of Him." 

Oh my heart people, can I just tell you that that moment in this book was written for ME! I feel like I could have written that whole thing word for word myself. It made me weep. Like just utterly, completely in awe that the Lord would bring me to this book and show me so clearly where I've been struggling and how I needed to let those reins go again ... I needed to give them back to God. 

That doesn't mean I stop parenting and just give up! NO WAY! In fact, the job of being a parent never ends and I feel like this summer I have spent more time talking with and sharing with my girls than I have in recent months. But I'm no longer stressing over every little thing and freaking out crying at night all the time because I'm so worried about them making wrong decisions and not growing up 'right'. 

Another quick snippet from the book, as one of the women gave birth to her first baby she makes this important realization: "As she clung to Butch for support, Daphne realized she would need to cling to Jesus just as tightly. There would be days of pain and sorrow and fear, just like now. She had no more control over this child's life than she had over this day."

So as I finished this book I was challenged and also encouraged to cling to Jesus, let go of all that fear and worry and choose to trust Him more. Oh, and also to enjoy all the moments I get to spend with my girls.

 This summer we have made some wonderful memories together but one of my favorites happened just the other night. We had grilled dinner outside and sat on the deck for dinner. After dinner we lit a campfire and sat around it chatting and making s'mores. Then one of us happened to look up and notice how many stars were out that night and suddenly one of us saw a shooting star. The girls then quickly ran to get some blankets and pillows which we spread out over the grass and we all laid there watching the stars for over an hour. We saw a couple more shooting stars, watched the blinking lights of the planes overhead while we guessed at where they were going, and marvelled at the majesty of the stars. We laughed and talked and just had the best time, just the four of us. It will remain one of my favorite memories of this summer. We have just over 3 more weeks until we go back to school ... I plan to soak up every last minute I can get because I only have 5 more summers with Haley and 7 more summers with Jilly {after this year} and quite frankly I can't afford to waste any of them!