Here are some ideas:
* If you think you have no one who can watch your kids overnight, try doing a swap with local friends. We are blessed to have Grandparents living nearby who are always happy to take our kids for a sleepover - BUT, that being said, we have also swapped kids with friends before too. One weekend we took our friend's kids for a sleepover at our house -- a couple weeks later they took ours. Both couples got to enjoy an overnight without any kids. Win-win for everyone because the kids are also thrilled to have sleepovers with their friends!
* If possible, make it special with a night out to dinner and maybe even a night at a hotel ... it's SO much easier to relax and enjoy yourselves when you're not in your own home {seeing laundry that needs to be done, dishes that need to be washed, etc.}. We even went to a hotel just a MILE from our house! The funny thing is that it felt like we were very far away from home and not right down the road!
* However, if money is a problem, you CAN create a fun and special night at home! Make a special dinner together {or order take out if that's easier and less stress!}, set a nice table with candles, turn off the phone and any other distractions and just ENJOY your time together!
* Take the time to think about how to make the night special for the other person. My husband has become so good at this! A couple months ago I mentioned it would be neat to have Christmas lights in our bedroom ... so one night we came home and he had set up lights in the bedroom, bought me some flowers and a new bracelet {just because}. Not trying to bash him AT ALL, but he wasn't always this good! Over the years he has become very attentive to the things I like and does lots of special little things to make me feel important, special and loved. I admit I'm not always so thoughtful ... but I do try to think of things he likes so he feels important too.
For us, we have found that the years keep going faster and because our girls are getting bigger our life just gets busier and busier. We are always busy with sports, activities, work, school, church, etc ... and it's honestly SO hard to set aside special time as a couple. It's also hard when we're often so exhausted each week! But having some of these overnight dates to look forward to has become such a time of refreshment for our marriage! We try to do this about once every month or every other month. In order to invest in your marriage you have to MAKE IT HAPPEN! No more excuses people ... don't wait till your kids are grown up ... do it NOW!!
3 comments:
What I love about the Women Living Well book is that she doesn't put pressure on the idea of date night out. You can have date nights in and find that connection your marriage definitely needs. I am not in a situation to drop 3 young kids off anywhere for a whole night. It really is easier said than done when you have a wonderful support system as you do. Not to bash your idea, but I wouldn't want anyone else in my situation discouraged. The idea of sleeping in and not waking up to kids with needs sounds amazing though!! But the bottom line is prioritizing your relationship and each other in a way that really works and leaves you feeling fulfilled. That is possible at home too, but just like you said, you gotta be intentional and set that time aside.
That's true Mary and it's funny cause I thought of you when I wrote this ... I know there are many in your situation who do not have family nearby, that's why I brought up the idea of swapping with friends - it really IS possible if you make it happen! But if you choose not to, that's fine too ... it's just my personal conviction that I can't fully relax with my hubby when the kids are still home. {Def gets harder when the kids are older and they stay up later and HEAR more things, if you know what I mean!} ... anyway ... either way you do it, the time together is whats important! Thanks for commenting! =)
I love your idea, Kathy! Tim & I have been trying to do it once a year. I wish we could do it every month but that woud be tough. Another tip for others who have a big family & don't feel like they can ask someone to take ALL of the kids, we've split them up. It does take lots of planning but totally worth it.
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